LGBT Numbers Increasing, Study Cites Pandora as Leading Cause
Written by K.D. Bang Tuesday, 28 February 2012
Recent research indicates that those declaring themselves part of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender (LGBT) community are increasing in numbers, up 23 percent from the same time a year ago. The same study also indicated that 83 percent of those who say they recently "came out of the closet" did so after listening to a lot of Pandora.
"I clearly like gay music, so I must be gay," said Guy Sandwich (right), one of thousands of music lovers worldwide who have recently been introduced to their own gayness through Pandora, the online music service that knows your tastes better than you do. "I just hope I'll learn to like anal intercourse as much as the music."
The popular online music site, which features a sophisticated computer model that matches a listener's "likes" and "preferences" to help find new music that he or she should also like, easily outdistanced "I could just feel it" and "I'm subconsciously trying to piss off my parents" as the leading explanation for why most people joined the LGBT community.
"I was listening to Pandora again, like I usually do," notes Guy Sandwich, just one of the many thousands of listeners who recently realized he was gay. "I've been using it for a long time, and it knows my tastes really well. So I started to become suspicious of my sexual orientation after a Sufjan Stevens song was followed by an Andrew Bird ballad. But when Pandora selected not one, but two, Coldplay songs about 10 minutes apart, and I liked them, I knew for sure that I was gay."
Researchers are finding similar stories worldwide. For example, Ludmilla von Karpetlicker, a housewife from The Hague, The Netherlands, left her husband of 15 years after Pandora repeatedly selected songs by Melissa Etheridge, the Indigo Girls, and Tegan and Sara, among other lesbian musicians that she apparently really liked musically.
Accepting her newfound sexual orientation, Ms. Karpetlicker recently began dating a 19-year-old lesbian she met on the Tegan and Sara Facebook page. The two can regularly be found swapping mpeg music files and awkward, unsure kisses.
However, some recent converts to Pandora-induced homosexuality are having difficulties with the transition from heterosexual life.
"I had no idea I was even gay," notes Sandwich. "I was really into girls, fantasizing about them, watching female porn. But I couldn't continue to ignore what Pandora was telling me. It knows me and my tastes so well, it's scary. So it must have just been my anti-gay prejudices that weren't allowing me to see my true gayness. Pandora set me free ...
"I am having a hard time putting other penises in my mouth," added Sandwich. "But I'm sure it's a taste I'll learn to acquire. Like broccoli. I didn't like that as a kid, but now I think it's a fine vegetable. I bet giving blowjobs is just like that--like eating broccoli. I'm sure I'll get there."