Box Office Bloodbath: 23 Teens Slain in Fight over Last 'Hunger Games' Ticket

Written by GUEST CONTRIBUTOR M.T. Stomach Wednesday, 28 March 2012

A deadly fight broke out at Steamboat Springs' Wildhorse Cinemas over the last remaining ticket for the blockbuster film "The Hunger Games." The box office was mobbed with teenagers desperate to see the hit movie. The last 24 fans learned that there was only one ticket left for the 7:45 p.m. showing, and they fought, literally to the death, with each other for the lone ticket.Barb Hooks, a Steamboat Springs High School junior, emerged triumphantly from a recent killing spree with the last ticket for a local showing of "Hunger Games."

"I bought my tickets in advance on my iPhone app," said Justin Tyme, a sophomore at Steamboat Springs High School. "When I went to the theater to pick them up, there was this angry mob at the ticket window. The ticket seller said there was only one ticket left, and that's when it started. First the kids just did the usual stuff, like, you know, sending nasty text messages. Then, they started to pull out knives, swords, clubs, spears, and bows and arrows. It was crazy, for a second I thought I was at a hockey game."

The lone survivor, Barb Hooks, rose from the pile of bloody corpses, grabbed her ticket and ran immediately into the dark theater to watch the film. As the crowd poured out of the building, Miss Hooks proudly held her ticket high for all to see. "I have brought honor to the Junior Class of 2013," said a tearful Hooks. "My classmates all friended me on Facebook. The movie was pretty cool, too."