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John Edwards Is A Knee-Dippin' Tree Fairy

•Written by Ann Molten• ••Wednesday•, 04 •April• 2007•

If there is anything I hate more than not getting my share of the spotlight and the opportunity to pander to the public and make obscene amounts of money spewing venomous half-truths if not outright lies in my column or in books or on the lecture circuit, it is Democrats.  I'm sorry, I can't even bring myself to capitalize that word.  democrats.  Ugh, it makes my taut, pale skin crawl.  And to think that it is so close to the word democracy.  I just want to rip someone's head off and spit down their windpipe. 

Ann MoltenAnn Molten

Well, if for no other reasons than he is articulate and intelligent and sensible with really good hair and reasonable and stands just as good a chance to win the presidency as anyone else and is really cute in bike shorts, I hate John Edwards.  But throw in the fact that he is a democrat and a liberal, oh , wait, all democrats are liberals and live on the beach in Malibu, and I want to rip out his fingernails while he watches "Dancing With The Stars" strapped in an electric chair set on slow cook.  But now I find out that John Edwards is a telemark skier who...

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