Republican Leaders Urging All Its Candidates to Sign 'I Will Never Say the Word 'Rape' Under Any Circumstances' Pledge

To quell the bleeding from the latest of several negatively received comments about rape and how it may have some sort of "upside" in certain circumstances, GOP leaders are circulating a pledge and demanding that all of its candidates sign the document.Although not an official GOP candidate at this time, Donald Trump signed the "don't ever mention rape" pledge. At this press conference, his monologue steered toward a dangerous topic, at which point he shoved this finger into his mouth and bit down severely, averting further political suicide.Although not an official GOP candidate at this time, Donald Trump signed the "don't ever mention rape" pledge. At this press conference, his monologue steered toward a dangerous topic, at which point he shoved this finger into his mouth and bit down severely, averting further political suicide.

Part of the document reads, "I pledge that under no circumstances will I ever use the word 'rape' in any form, context or situation. I won't even say it amongst close friends, as you never know who has a hidden camera. Any time I even think of the word 'rape' in my head, after signing this document, I will bite one of my fingers so hard that it makes my eyes water and the word disappears from my brain, and all I think about is the harmless, intense pain in my digit."

The pledge was written by Grover Norquist, who is famous for writing the No Tax Pledge which most Republican lawmakers and candidates have signed.

"It's my theory that Republicans simply need a public declaration to keep them from doing something harmful to themselves and our party, marital fidelity excluded, of course, but that's a bipartisan situation," said Norquist. "It worked in the case of the No Tax Pledge, as those who signed wouldn't even raise a tax on a billionaire's third yacht, so we think a public pledge like this should keep them in line and remind them to never say or use, in any way, the 'r' word."

Particularly hurt by the recent rape comments is Senator Mitch McConnell, who was hoping to make enough gains in the Senate to possibly become the Majority Leader. But first Missouri Senate candidate Todd Akin declared that there were "legitimate rapes" and that women's body parts can magically shut down rape sperm and not become pregnant from them. Once a shoo-in to win, Akin's numbers have plummeted and he will likely get pummeled in the election. Then Indiana Senate candidate Richard Murdock stated that a pregnancy as a result of rape was a "gift from God," quickly making another near-guaranteed Senate seat a major question mark heading into the election.

"You've got to be fu#&ing kidding me," stated a weary-looking McConnell. "What's wrong with these fu%&ing candidates! I had this thing in the bag, and they're blowing it. It was mine, for fu#&'s sake! I'm using the word fu#& a lot, aren't I? I should stop that. I don't condone fu#&ing and certainly not any between non-consenting anything."

The recent pledge being circulated also suggests that candidates steer clear of similar-sounding words, such as 'drape' or 'grape,' as they may be misconstrued or, worse, accidentally mispronounced as 'rape.' The pledge again suggests that any candidate thinking of such words bite one of their fingers quickly and forcefully. Should anyone question why they are munching vigorously on one of their own fingers, they are instructed to respond that they are merely hungry, and that biting a finger or two is an excellent way to suppress one's appetite.

"I don't care if they bite the damn thing off," added McConnell. "A finger in the mouth is much better than another giant-sized foot in the mouth. We can spin finger biting. Stupid fu#&s."


blog comments powered by Disqus

[0.0000s] DEBUG info j4age: Visit time in Joomla Local timezone: 2018-05-22 21:47:32        

Performed SQL enquiries

SELECT * FROM eeu_session WHERE session_id = 'anqrc0324f3tmtc5hj6plaq7t3'

DELETE FROM eeu_session WHERE ( time < '1527019652' )

SELECT * FROM eeu_session WHERE session_id = 'anqrc0324f3tmtc5hj6plaq7t3'

INSERT INTO `eeu_session` ( `session_id`,`time`,`username`,`gid`,`guest`,`client_id` ) VALUES ( 'anqrc0324f3tmtc5hj6plaq7t3','1527025652','','0','1','0' )

SELECT * FROM eeu_components WHERE parent = 0

SELECT folder AS type, element AS name, params FROM eeu_plugins WHERE published >= 1 AND access <= 0 ORDER BY ordering

SELECT * FROM eeu_migration_backlinks WHERE url LIKE 'articles/politics/225-republican-leaders-urging-all-its-candidates-to-sign-i-will-never-say-the-word-rape-under-any-circumstances-pledge.html%' OR sefurl LIKE 'articles/politics/225-republican-leaders-urging-all-its-candidates-to-sign-i-will-never-say-the-word-rape-under-any-circumstances-pledge.html%'

SELECT m.*, c.`option` as component FROM eeu_menu AS m LEFT JOIN eeu_components AS c ON m.componentid = c.id WHERE m.published = 1 ORDER BY m.sublevel, m.parent, m.ordering

SELECT template FROM eeu_templates_menu WHERE client_id = 0 AND (menuid = 0 OR menuid = 54) ORDER BY menuid DESC LIMIT 0, 1

SELECT a.*, u.name AS author, u.usertype, cc.title AS category, s.title AS section, CASE WHEN CHAR_LENGTH(a.alias) THEN CONCAT_WS(":", a.id, a.alias) ELSE a.id END as slug, CASE WHEN CHAR_LENGTH(cc.alias) THEN CONCAT_WS(":", cc.id, cc.alias) ELSE cc.id END as catslug, g.name AS groups, s.published AS sec_pub, cc.published AS cat_pub, s.access AS sec_access, cc.access AS cat_access FROM eeu_content AS a LEFT JOIN eeu_categories AS cc ON cc.id = a.catid LEFT JOIN eeu_sections AS s ON s.id = cc.section AND s.scope = "content" LEFT JOIN eeu_users AS u ON u.id = a.created_by LEFT JOIN eeu_groups AS g ON a.access = g.id WHERE a.id = 225 AND ( ( a.created_by = 0 ) OR ( a.state = 1 AND ( a.publish_up = '0000-00-00 00:00:00' OR a.publish_up <= '2018-05-22 21:47:32' ) AND ( a.publish_down = '0000-00-00 00:00:00' OR a.publish_down >= '2018-05-22 21:47:32' ) ) OR ( a.state = -1 ) )

UPDATE eeu_content SET hits = ( hits + 1 ) WHERE id='225'

SELECT id, title, module, position, content, showtitle, control, params FROM eeu_modules AS m LEFT JOIN eeu_modules_menu AS mm ON mm.moduleid = m.id WHERE m.published = 1 AND m.access <= 0 AND m.client_id = 0 AND ( mm.menuid = 54 OR mm.menuid = 0 ) ORDER BY position, ordering

SELECT * FROM eeu_banner WHERE showBanner = 1 AND (imptotal = 0 OR impmade < imptotal) AND cid = 2 AND catid = 58 ORDER BY sticky DESC, ordering LIMIT 0, 1

UPDATE eeu_banner SET impmade = impmade + 1 WHERE bid = 20

SELECT a.*, CASE WHEN CHAR_LENGTH(a.alias) THEN CONCAT_WS(":", a.id, a.alias) ELSE a.id END as slug, CASE WHEN CHAR_LENGTH(cc.alias) THEN CONCAT_WS(":", cc.id, cc.alias) ELSE cc.id END as catslug FROM eeu_content AS a LEFT JOIN eeu_content_frontpage AS f ON f.content_id = a.id INNER JOIN eeu_categories AS cc ON cc.id = a.catid INNER JOIN eeu_sections AS s ON s.id = a.sectionid WHERE ( a.state = 1 AND s.id > 0 ) AND ( a.publish_up = '0000-00-00 00:00:00' OR a.publish_up <= '2018-05-22 21:47:32' ) AND ( a.publish_down = '0000-00-00 00:00:00' OR a.publish_down >= '2018-05-22 21:47:32' ) AND a.access <= 0 AND cc.access <= 0 AND s.access <= 0 AND s.published = 1 AND cc.published = 1 ORDER BY a.hits DESC LIMIT 0, 8

SELECT width,height FROM eeu_flashrotators WHERE id = '15'

SELECT width,height FROM eeu_flashrotators WHERE id = '15'

SELECT width,height FROM eeu_flashrotators WHERE id = '10'

SELECT width,height FROM eeu_flashrotators WHERE id = '10'

SELECT * FROM `eeu_jnews_xonfig`

SELECT * FROM `eeu_jnews_lists` WHERE `published` = 1


[0.0011s] DEBUG info j4age: JS Perform Visitor counting process (function: countVisitor()): 0.000 seconds, 18.57 MB        

Performed SQL enquiries

SELECT * FROM eeu_jstats_configuration


[0.0002s] DEBUG info j4age: JS loadKnownRecords start: 0.000 seconds, 18.57 MB        

Performed SQL enquiries


[0.0000s] DEBUG info j4age: Trace Code from cookie:         

Performed SQL enquiries


[0.0000s] DEBUG info j4age: Client-ID from cookie:         

Performed SQL enquiries


[0.9820s] DEBUG info j4age: JS loadKnownRecords end: 0.982 seconds, 18.57 MB        

Performed SQL enquiries

SELECT * FROM eeu_jstats_ipaddresses AS a WHERE a.ip = '911230089'

SELECT c.* FROM eeu_jstats_clients AS c LEFT OUTER JOIN eeu_jstats_visits AS v ON c.client_id = v.client_id WHERE v.ip = '911230089' AND (c.visitor_id = 0 OR c.visitor_id IS NULL);


[0.0001s] DEBUG info j4age: JS client & ip handling start: 0.982 seconds, 18.57 MB        

Performed SQL enquiries


[0.0000s] DEBUG info j4age: IP already stored 911230089        

Performed SQL enquiries


[0.0000s] DEBUG info j4age: Fire Event => beforecounting        

Performed SQL enquiries


[0.0003s] DEBUG info j4age: 1 Plugins found in DB        

Performed SQL enquiries

select * from `eeu_jstats_configuration` where description like 'ext_%' and value = '1'


[0.0014s] DEBUG info j4age: Register plugin ext_ip2nation for event onpostinstallation        

Performed SQL enquiries


[0.0000s] DEBUG info j4age: Register plugin ext_ip2nation for event resolvelocation        

Performed SQL enquiries


[0.0000s] DEBUG info j4age: 0Cookies availble        

Performed SQL enquiries


[0.0000s] DEBUG info j4age: Found client 114671 Visitor-ID =        

Performed SQL enquiries


[0.0000s] DEBUG info j4age: Client already known        

Performed SQL enquiries


[0.0000s] DEBUG info j4age: JS client & ip handling end: 0.984 seconds, 18.77 MB        

Performed SQL enquiries


[0.0000s] DEBUG info j4age: Perform Visit counting process        

Performed SQL enquiries


[0.0005s] DEBUG info j4age: Visit-Session still present. Continue this Visit 247676        

Performed SQL enquiries

SELECT v.visit_id FROM eeu_jstats_visits as v WHERE v.client_id = 114671 AND v.ip = 911230089 AND v.changed_at >= 1526996852


[0.0007s] DEBUG info j4age: Visit 247676 registered        

Performed SQL enquiries

UPDATE eeu_jstats_visits SET changed_at= 1527025652 WHERE visit_id = '247676'


[0.0000s] DEBUG info j4age: Perform Page counting process        

Performed SQL enquiries


[0.0018s] DEBUG info j4age: Page counting process successful        

Performed SQL enquiries

SELECT page_id, page_title FROM eeu_jstats_pages WHERE page = '/articles/politics/225-republican-leaders-urging-all-its-candidates-to-sign-i-will-never-say-the-word-rape-under-any-circumstances-pledge.html' LIMIT 1

INSERT INTO `eeu_jstats_impressions` (`page_id`, `visit_id`, `timestamp`) VALUES (911,247676,1527025652)


[0.0000s] DEBUG info j4age: Page impression 1 registered        

Performed SQL enquiries


[0.0000s] DEBUG info j4age: Referrer not set.        

Performed SQL enquiries


[0.0000s] DEBUG info j4age: Keyword & Referrer registered = False        

Performed SQL enquiries


[0.0000s] DEBUG info j4age: Fire Event => aftercounting        

Performed SQL enquiries


[0.0000s] DEBUG info j4age: JS Counting Visitor finished: 0.987 seconds, 18.78 MB        

Performed SQL enquiries

Enter Amount:

Click the image below and get tickets for The End of the Boat as We Know It

Subscribe to The Pirate

You can have new content from The Pirate e-mailed to you as a newsletter as soon as it's available. No need to waste time browsing the Internet!

The Pirate will find you!

If you only want the "main" Pirate, select Global Pirate below.



Receive HTML?

Comment Highlights

Powered by Disqus
Mobile Version | Standard Version
•Banner•
© 2011 Ski Town Productions

•Profile Information•

Application afterLoad: 0.001 seconds, 0.90 MB
Application afterInitialise: 0.080 seconds, 6.91 MB
Application afterRoute: 0.103 seconds, 8.64 MB
Application afterDispatch: 0.190 seconds, 12.66 MB
Application afterRender: 1.315 seconds, 19.38 MB

•Memory Usage•

20443752

•38 queries logged•

  1. SELECT *
      FROM eeu_session
      WHERE session_id = 'anqrc0324f3tmtc5hj6plaq7t3'
  2. DELETE
      FROM eeu_session
      WHERE ( TIME < '1527019652' )
  3. SELECT *
      FROM eeu_session
      WHERE session_id = 'anqrc0324f3tmtc5hj6plaq7t3'
  4. INSERT INTO `eeu_session` ( `session_id`,`time`,`username`,`gid`,`guest`,`client_id` )
      VALUES ( 'anqrc0324f3tmtc5hj6plaq7t3','1527025652','','0','1','0' )
  5. SELECT *
      FROM eeu_components
      WHERE parent = 0
  6. SELECT folder AS TYPE, element AS name, params
      FROM eeu_plugins
      WHERE published >= 1
      AND access <= 0
      ORDER BY ordering
  7. SELECT *
      FROM eeu_migration_backlinks
      WHERE url LIKE 'articles/politics/225-republican-leaders-urging-all-its-candidates-to-sign-i-will-never-say-the-word-rape-under-any-circumstances-pledge.html%' OR sefurl LIKE 'articles/politics/225-republican-leaders-urging-all-its-candidates-to-sign-i-will-never-say-the-word-rape-under-any-circumstances-pledge.html%'
  8. SELECT m.*, c.`option` AS component
      FROM eeu_menu AS m
      LEFT JOIN eeu_components AS c
      ON m.componentid = c.id
      WHERE m.published = 1
      ORDER BY m.sublevel, m.parent, m.ordering
  9. SELECT template
      FROM eeu_templates_menu
      WHERE client_id = 0
      AND (menuid = 0 OR menuid = 54)
      ORDER BY menuid DESC
      LIMIT 0, 1
  10. SELECT a.*, u.name AS author, u.usertype, cc.title AS category, s.title AS SECTION, CASE WHEN CHAR_LENGTH(a.alias) THEN CONCAT_WS(":", a.id, a.alias) ELSE a.id END AS slug, CASE WHEN CHAR_LENGTH(cc.alias) THEN CONCAT_WS(":", cc.id, cc.alias) ELSE cc.id END AS catslug, g.name AS groups, s.published AS sec_pub, cc.published AS cat_pub, s.access AS sec_access, cc.access AS cat_access  
      FROM eeu_content AS a
      LEFT JOIN eeu_categories AS cc
      ON cc.id = a.catid
      LEFT JOIN eeu_sections AS s
      ON s.id = cc.SECTION
      AND s.scope = "content"
      LEFT JOIN eeu_users AS u
      ON u.id = a.created_by
      LEFT JOIN eeu_groups AS g
      ON a.access = g.id
      WHERE a.id = 225
      AND (  ( a.created_by = 0 )    OR  ( a.state = 1
      AND ( a.publish_up = '0000-00-00 00:00:00' OR a.publish_up <= '2018-05-22 21:47:32' )
      AND ( a.publish_down = '0000-00-00 00:00:00' OR a.publish_down >= '2018-05-22 21:47:32' )   )    OR  ( a.state = -1 )  )
  11. UPDATE eeu_content
      SET hits = ( hits + 1 )
      WHERE id='225'
  12. SELECT id, title, module, POSITION, content, showtitle, control, params
      FROM eeu_modules AS m
      LEFT JOIN eeu_modules_menu AS mm
      ON mm.moduleid = m.id
      WHERE m.published = 1
      AND m.access <= 0
      AND m.client_id = 0
      AND ( mm.menuid = 54 OR mm.menuid = 0 )
      ORDER BY POSITION, ordering
  13. SELECT *
      FROM eeu_banner
      WHERE showBanner = 1
      AND (imptotal = 0 OR impmade < imptotal)
      AND cid = 2
      AND catid = 58
      ORDER BY sticky DESC, ordering
      LIMIT 0, 1
  14. UPDATE eeu_banner
      SET impmade = impmade + 1
      WHERE bid = 20
  15. SELECT a.*, CASE WHEN CHAR_LENGTH(a.alias) THEN CONCAT_WS(":", a.id, a.alias) ELSE a.id END AS slug, CASE WHEN CHAR_LENGTH(cc.alias) THEN CONCAT_WS(":", cc.id, cc.alias) ELSE cc.id END AS catslug
      FROM eeu_content AS a
      LEFT JOIN eeu_content_frontpage AS f
      ON f.content_id = a.id
      INNER JOIN eeu_categories AS cc
      ON cc.id = a.catid
      INNER JOIN eeu_sections AS s
      ON s.id = a.sectionid
      WHERE ( a.state = 1
      AND s.id > 0 )
      AND ( a.publish_up = '0000-00-00 00:00:00' OR a.publish_up <= '2018-05-22 21:47:32' )
      AND ( a.publish_down = '0000-00-00 00:00:00' OR a.publish_down >= '2018-05-22 21:47:32' )
      AND a.access <= 0
      AND cc.access <= 0
      AND s.access <= 0
      AND s.published = 1
      AND cc.published = 1
      ORDER BY a.hits DESC
      LIMIT 0, 8
  16. SELECT width,height
      FROM eeu_flashrotators
      WHERE id = '15'
  17. SELECT width,height
      FROM eeu_flashrotators
      WHERE id = '15'
  18. SELECT width,height
      FROM eeu_flashrotators
      WHERE id = '10'
  19. SELECT width,height
      FROM eeu_flashrotators
      WHERE id = '10'
  20. SELECT *
      FROM `eeu_jnews_xonfig`
  21. SELECT *
      FROM `eeu_jnews_lists`
      WHERE `published` = 1
  22. SELECT *
      FROM eeu_jstats_configuration
  23. SELECT *
      FROM eeu_jstats_ipaddresses AS a
      WHERE a.ip = '911230089'
  24. SELECT c.*
      FROM eeu_jstats_clients AS c
      LEFT
      OUTER JOIN eeu_jstats_visits AS v
      ON c.client_id = v.client_id
      WHERE v.ip = '911230089'
      AND (c.visitor_id = 0 OR c.visitor_id IS NULL);
  25. SELECT *
      FROM `eeu_jstats_configuration`
      WHERE description LIKE 'ext_%'  
      AND VALUE = '1'
  26. SELECT v.visit_id
                 
      FROM eeu_jstats_visits AS v
                 
      WHERE v.client_id = 114671
      AND v.ip = 911230089
      AND v.changed_at >= 1526996852
  27. UPDATE eeu_jstats_visits
      SET changed_at= 1527025652
      WHERE visit_id = '247676'
  28. SELECT   page_id,   page_title
      FROM   eeu_jstats_pages
      WHERE   page = '/articles/politics/225-republican-leaders-urging-all-its-candidates-to-sign-i-will-never-say-the-word-rape-under-any-circumstances-pledge.html'
      LIMIT 1
  29. INSERT INTO `eeu_jstats_impressions` (`page_id`, `visit_id`, `timestamp`)
      VALUES (911,247676,1527025652)
  30. SELECT width,height
      FROM eeu_flashrotators
      WHERE id = '13'
  31. SELECT width,height
      FROM eeu_flashrotators
      WHERE id = '13'
  32. SELECT width,height
      FROM eeu_flashrotators
      WHERE id = '11'
  33. SELECT width,height
      FROM eeu_flashrotators
      WHERE id = '11'
  34. SELECT width,height
      FROM eeu_flashrotators
      WHERE id = '9'
  35. SELECT width,height
      FROM eeu_flashrotators
      WHERE id = '9'
  36. SELECT width,height
      FROM eeu_flashrotators
      WHERE id = '3'
  37. SELECT width,height
      FROM eeu_flashrotators
      WHERE id = '3'
  38. SELECT *
      FROM eeu_banner
      WHERE showBanner = 1
      AND (imptotal = 0 OR impmade < imptotal)
      AND cid = 2
      AND catid = 44
      ORDER BY sticky DESC, ordering
      LIMIT 0, 1

•0 legacy queries logged•

    •Language Files Loaded•

    •Untranslated Strings Diagnostic•

    GLOBAL PIRATE	JHTML::tooltip()	[:]
    STEAMBOAT SPRINGS LOCAL PIRATE	JHTML::tooltip()	[:]
    VIEW THE DISCUSSION THREAD.	plgContentJw_disqus::onPrepareContent()	[:]
    

    •Untranslated Strings Designer•

    
    # ??Unknown file??
    
    GLOBAL PIRATE=Global Pirate
    STEAMBOAT SPRINGS LOCAL PIRATE=Steamboat Springs Local Pirate
    VIEW THE DISCUSSION THREAD.=View the discussion thread.