Steamboat Springs

Pirate Theatre Facing the End of the Boat as We Know It

Written by Harry Sonford Tuesday, 21 October 2014

While the gang at Pirate Theatre has been liable for various calamities--hyper-extended funny bones, involuntary bladder release and various laughter infections to name a few--now they face their greatest threat ever: the complete destruction of Steamboat Springs.

Can Colorado Jones and his band of misfit adventurers save Steamboat? Will anyone tell him he looks ridiculous in that hat? Will VIP wait service turn the show's front rows into a well-heeled frat party? You'll have to get tickets to find out ...Can Colorado Jones and his band of misfit adventurers save Steamboat? Will anyone tell him he looks ridiculous in that hat? Will VIP wait service turn the show's front rows into a well-heeled frat party? You'll have to get tickets to find out ...

After unearthing an ancient doomsday prophecy from the local Milnerans, the last and certainly craziest descendants of the long-lost Mayans, Steamboat's only hope for survival rests in the hands of Colorado Jones, an adventurer and archaeologist who wanted to travel the world...

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Nature Report: Yampa Valley Ski Bums Awakening from Hibernation

Written by Cy Intifickcuriosity Tuesday, 21 October 2014

With the first winter storms gracing the Yampa Valley, another seasonal miracle appears to be in full force: from Oak Creek to Hayden, in trailers, converted vans and basement apartment, life begins to stir. As the temperature drops, a wide range of Ski Bum species awake from their annual slumber in anticipation of ski season and the opening of the mountain.

One of Yampa Valley's native varieties of ski bum, Bostoniana Slackerus, is seen waking from its long hibernation.One of Yampa Valley's native varieties of ski bum, Bostoniana Slackerus, is seen waking from its long hibernation.

Shaking off the debris of crumpled cigarette packs, empty beer cans and half-smoked joints, these seasonal creatures, already clad in winter garb, begin migrating toward Mt. Werner and various restaurants across Steamboat with the hopes of finding a decent job that will afford them a ski pass.

"It's kind of beautiful," says Bob Upendawn, a local curator and advocate for preserving the long heritage of Ski Bums in the Yampa Valley. "Routt County has a unique mix of Ski Bum creatures. We have a lot of East Coast skiers that traveled west in the 1980s...

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Craig, Colo., Citizen Introduces New Laws Requiring Mandatory Tobacco and Bible Use

Written by Cy N. Mighty Wednesday, 07 August 2013

Building off his sketch-comedy inducing efforts to introduce legislation requiring Craig, Colo., "heads of households" to own and brandish firearms at all possible time, Craig Crumble, from Craig, naturally, introduced new legislation requiring citizens there to smoke, dip or chew tobacco as well as carry a Bible with them at all times.Craig Resident Craig Crumble (left) appeared on the Pirate Theatre Monthly Daily Show to show off his new invention, the Spit Dangler, worn by his legal expert, Dipschlitz (right).Craig Resident Craig Crumble (left) appeared on the Pirate Theatre Monthly Daily Show to show off his new invention, the Spit Dangler, worn by his legal expert, Dipschlitz (right).

"I just want Craig to be more 'Merican, unlike that Commie Steamboat place," mumbled Crumble as he spit tobacco juice on the floor and raised his Bible in the air. "And nothin's more 'Merican than tobaccah and the Bible--New Testament of course. Old Testament's OK as a starter, but you need Jesus in your heart to be a real 'Merican. Otherwise you're just Jewish."

Crumble cited the country's Founding Fathers as inspiration for the new laws. However, his parents, with whom the 48-year-old still lives with, noted that he cites imaginary writings of the Founding Fathers for everything he does.

"He'll only eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch," notes Larry Crumble, his apologetic father. "He says that's all Thomas Jefferson ate for lunch, so that's good enough for him. I actually tried to look that one up on the...

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