Steamboat Springs

Steamboat Wooing Younger, Unmotivated Workforce to 'Fillabong Valley'

Written by Smoky Ifyougoty Monday, 19 November 2012

Since Amendment 64 was resoundingly approved by Colorado Voters, Steamboat Springs officials have quickly moved to embrace what's expected to be a boom in the local workforce.Some Steamboat officials are hoping the area becomes Fillabong Valley, which is like Silicon Valley but without the education, drive, productivity and horn-rimmed glasses. It's hoped that Fillabong Valley will make up for such deficiencies by being really, really high.Some Steamboat officials are hoping the area becomes Fillabong Valley, which is like Silicon Valley but without the education, drive, productivity and horn-rimmed glasses. It's hoped that Fillabong Valley will make up for such deficiencies by being really, really high.

"We're going to see young men and women flocking to Colorado in numbers we haven't seen since the Gold Rush days in the mid-1800s," said Herb L. Bliss, the rapidly named president of a new taskforce dedicated to taking advantage of Amendment 64. "And we want Steamboat to be the first place these people think of when they're looking for a new home to be stoned most of the time in."

Borrowing from Northern California's famed Silicon Valley, which is home to countless young, highly educated entrepreneurs working long hours to successfully create new and useful technologies in the modern world, Steamboat leaders have coined the phrase "Fillabong Valley" to describe and attract the hardcore pot smokers who would be willing to leave wherever they are from in a moment's notice to seek legally available marijuana products.

"We feel we can provide just the...

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Council Eyes New, Simpler Plan: BAP! and Police/Fire Station to Switch Homes

Written by Redd Skyscraper Tuesday, 06 November 2012

Citing the negative feedback the Steamboat Springs City Council received for agreeing to sell the city's emergency-services building on Yampa Street to the local mini-conglomerate of BAP!/Big Agnes/Honey Stinger, and the desire for the fire and police departments to move from that building to a new campus away from the river, the council has agreed to a mutual compromise that they believe will please all parties involved.A city councilmember's seven-year-old daughter created this illustration of the proposed new five-story firehouse at the current BAP location on Oak Street. The resulting five-story firepole, not illustrated, is expected to be "freaking awesome!"A city councilmember's seven-year-old daughter created this illustration of the proposed new five-story firehouse at the current BAP location on Oak Street. The resulting five-story firepole, not illustrated, is expected to be "freaking awesome!"

"Rather than sell the emergency-services building for money, and then have to find a place for them to work, we're suggesting that the two entities involved simply swap locations," said Killedkenny Triesagain, a Steamboat city council member and chief architect of the new plan. "BAP Agnes Stinger gets the building they want, and the fire and police people get a cute red building on Oak Street. Everyone wins! Easy peasy lemon squeazy!"

Under the plan, there's no actual cash transaction, so the city council can't take heat for selling the emergency services building for nearly $1 million below its appraised value, removing one of the headaches recently visited upon city council...

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Council Considers Turning Iron Horse into Medical SexCare Facility

Written by John Inthejohn Wednesday, 24 October 2012

Seeking to find a money-making solution for the beleaguered Iron Horse Inn, Steamboat Springs City Council is debating the idea of turning the city-owned hotel into a "Medical SexCare Facility."Steamboat Springs City Council is considering novel ways to turn the debt-laden Iron Horse Inn into a profitable venture. An artist's rendering shows the proposed "Medical SexCare Facility" envisioned by some council members.Steamboat Springs City Council is considering novel ways to turn the debt-laden Iron Horse Inn into a profitable venture. An artist's rendering shows the proposed "Medical SexCare Facility" envisioned by some council members.

"We looked at various successful business models in Steamboat, and the Medical Marijuana sector kept jumping out at us," said Devin Komuniski, a member of City Council in favor of the plan. "In just a few years, those entrepreneurs turned something that previously was illegal into a very profitable and generally well-perceived business. Why not do that with sex?"

Several council members noted that the Iron Horse already has the existing infrastructure needed for a Medical SexCare Facility, including many private rooms with beds, staff to regularly clean the sheets and even showers for those delivering the Medical SexCare services.

"We don't like to use the term 'prostitutes,'" explained Komuniski. "We prefer the term Medical SexCare Provider, which is something else we stole from the pot people."

Those in favor of the proposed plan noted that...

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