Steamboat Wooing Younger, Unmotivated Workforce to 'Fillabong Valley'

Written by Smoky Ifyougoty Monday, 19 November 2012

Since Amendment 64 was resoundingly approved by Colorado Voters, Steamboat Springs officials have quickly moved to embrace what's expected to be a boom in the local workforce.Some Steamboat officials are hoping the area becomes Fillabong Valley, which is like Silicon Valley but without the education, drive, productivity and horn-rimmed glasses. It's hoped that Fillabong Valley will make up for such deficiencies by being really, really high.

"We're going to see young men and women flocking to Colorado in numbers we haven't seen since the Gold Rush days in the mid-1800s," said Herb L. Bliss, the rapidly named president of a new taskforce dedicated to taking advantage of Amendment 64. "And we want Steamboat to be the first place these people think of when they're looking for a new home to be stoned most of the time in."

Borrowing from Northern California's famed Silicon Valley, which is home to countless young, highly educated entrepreneurs working long hours to successfully create new and useful technologies in the modern world, Steamboat leaders have coined the phrase "Fillabong Valley" to describe and attract the hardcore pot smokers who would be willing to leave wherever they are from in a moment's notice to seek legally available marijuana products.

"We feel we can provide just the right environment for these people," added Bliss. "Real-estate prices have fallen, so they can afford a house to cram 10 or so young adults in--minus the space for a really killer grow room, of course. And our economy is filled with the type of low-paying but only have to work a few hours a day jobs, with no expectations of having to work too hard, that we believe the 'Fillabong Valleyers' are looking for."

Several local business already are planning on joining the Fillabong Valley marketing program and are experiencing a sudden burst in interested employees coming from outside the state. For example, Pop Creek Pizza Co. plans on opening up three new stores after Amendment 64 is approved to ready themselves for the expected increase in demand.

"Our entire business model is based on marijuana," said Saul Sage of Pop Creek Pizza. "From cook to driver to consumer, everybody in the pizza business is high, so we're really excited about the possibilities."

Another business that plans on growing immediately is the Steamboat II Frisbee Golf Association.

"We believe we can grow exponentially in the next year, as Amendment 64 progresses," notes Stoned Walk, president of the association. "Of course, I'm the only employee, and unpaid at that, but still. I'm expecting a lot more interest and a lot more people to throw Frisbees into a chain-dangling metal bucket with."

In contrast with the high-tech and future-creating Silicon Valley, some of Steamboat's financial advisors aren't sure that promoting Fillabong Valley will have the same type of positive economic effect on the area.

"While I'm sure we can attract a lot more young people truly excited and energized about smoking high-grade marijuana," adds Scott Chevy, a local business analyst. "But, unlike Silicon Valley, that's all they're energized about. I think it might be difficult to create the next iPod or whatever when you spend 13 hours a day smoking Grape Kush and playing HALO 4. Sure, we'll get younger, which is good, but I'm not entirely sure these are the types of young people we should be targeting."

This negative sentiment was disputed by Majestic Sunset, a 22-year-old candle maker from Portland who arrived in Steamboat 15 hours after Amendment 64 passed.

"I think the people of Steamboat and Colorado are going to be much better off after word gets around and those of us who dig the herb show up in force," he notes. "This is just the beginning of a grand revolution in positivity and such and being and ... what was the question? Oh, hey, can you give me directions to that new Frisbee golf course? And can I borrow your snowshoes? I'll trade you some weed."