Steamboat Springs
Kayakers, Anglers Cited for Trespassing in Expensive Neighborhoods' Man-Made Water Features
Written by Kanu Canoe Wednesday, 18 July 2012
With the early summer ban of recreational activity on the Yampa River, trespassing calls to police dispatch have doubled.
Due to drought conditions and recreational restrictions on the Yampa River, local kayakers have been reported doing barrel rolls in high-priced developments' water features.
"Due to the June close of C-hole and the low water level, kayakers are poaching water features in Dakota Ridge and other luxury communities," reports Sergeant Sal Silly.
One Dakota Ridge resident told the pilot, "I've had to call the police department at least once a week to remove trespassers. We have a beautifully constructed stream running through our property. I guess it's equivalent to a class II river experience."
It's not only kayakers who are angering residents of these private communities, but fishing enthusiasts as well. Said one irate resident of Storm Mountain Ranch, "Koi are not fish that respond well to catch and release."
Add a commentWith Fireworks Cancelled, Steamboat to Launch Lighted Man into Sky
Written by Pop Goesboom Tuesday, 26 June 2012
After struggling with how to replace this year's cancelled
fireworks show for the 4th of July, Steamboat Springs has settled
on a new draw that should mildly light up part of the evening sky:
tossing The Lighted Man up and down in the air from a giant
blanket.
Volunteers at Howelsen Hill practiced flipping The Lighted Man up in the air from a giant blanket, which will take the place of a fireworks celebration on this 4th of July.
The Lighted Man, a longtime tradition of the town's Winter Carnival fireworks celebration, won't be allowed to shoot off his trademark roman candles, as they would violate current fire restrictions, but his entire suit of blinky lights will be powered up and flashing. Organizers are hoping that this lightshow, enhanced by having The Lighted Mass flung up and down from a blanket as many times as volunteers can take, will satisfy the visual desires of locals and tourists on Independence Day.
"OK, so it's not ideal," admitted Steamboat City Council President Kart Beforehorseski. "But it will be safe. There's very little chance of The Lighted Man sparking a forest fire that burns down half of Steamboat, which was pretty much our only request. And he is a Steamboat icon--whatever that says about our town."
The move culminates a difficult few weeks for all of those involved in the traditional 4th of July fireworks...
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Steamboat Marketing Working, City Truly Becoming Wild, Wild West
Written by Dusty Bottoms Thursday, 14 June 2012
Recent criminal events in Steamboat Springs have left the city
and ski resort's marketing teams, responsible for the area's
renowned "Western Theme," openly satisfied with the results of
their branding.
Steamboat Springs' various marketing departments and police officials are very proud that the town has truly embraced the Western theme, including shootouts, gambling and armed robbery. They also noted that the city has a train, and if anyone would like to rob it, that would be cool, although it's mostly filled with coal that could be difficult to sell on the black market.
"There's no question our marketing has worked," said Lili Von Shtupp, head of Steamboat marketing. "We've got robbery at gunpoint, shootings at saloons, alcohol-fueled horseback rides through bars and markets, cows in the streets, and maybe even a casino opening up. You can't walk around town anymore, which should be done very, very carefully these days, without feeling like you're at the OK Corral. It's a true Western Town now--circa 1849, of course. Shoot, we've even got someone named very similarly to Billy The Kid as our chief spokesperson."
Unfortunately, not everyone in town is so enthusiastic to returning to Pioneer Days and ways.
"I know we're supposed to be this skiing cow town, or whatever," noted longtime local Hedley Lamarr. "But this is...
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More Articles...
- Enviros Claim Hunting Decimated Rocky Mountain Construction Cranes
- Attila the Hun Commits to Speak at Steamboat's Serfdom Conference
- Tourists Seared to Promenade in Brick-Heating Malfunction
- Intracourse: 'Ticket-Price Increase Pleased Snow God, Will Continue Policy'
- Chief Theater 'Unfriends' Group Trying to Renovate It
- Hayden Rallies to Prevent Bar from Closing, Neighboring Business Providing Temp Employment Services Quietly Closes Forever
- Steamboat's New Outdoor Theater Named No. 1 Sub-Zero Music Venue in North America
- ASSHAT Sting Nabs Guy Who Knows a Guy Who Probably Has Some Pot to Sell
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