Chief Theater 'Unfriends' Group Trying to Renovate It

Written by Mark Suckerberg Monday, 30 January 2012

In a subtle move that raised eyebrows all across Facebook, the aging Chief Theater "unfriended" the group that has been trying to raise money to purchase it and renovate it for what has seemed like 14 years. The group, formerly known as Friends of The Chief, is unsure whether to proceed forward as the Unfriends of The Chief, or whether to seek a new name that's less ironic.The Chief's Facebook page has a few less Friends on it now, as the aging theater unfriended the core group formerly known as Friends of The Chief, which was hoping to renovate the seemingly slighted movie theater into a multipurpose entertainment venue slated to open in downtown Steamboat Springs in the year 2038.

"Frankly, we were all shocked at the unfriending on Facebook," noted Jim Crooked, head of the now confusingly named group. "We had been 'liking' all of The Chiefs obnoxious posts for years, even the overly cutesy YouTube videos and the 'spiritually uplifting' crap, and then it goes and unfriends us. I can't even send it personal messages any more. It's devastating."

The Chief refused to comment publicly on its social-media attack, only stating in a cryptic Wall post that "The Friends of the Chief are no friends of mine." Pirate reporters attempted to 'Friend' the outdated theater, but the requests have gone unaccepted as of press time.

Some of those close to The Chief, and still its friends on Facebook, speculated that The Chief was feeling used by the group seeking to purchase it and renovate it into a profit-making multipurpose entertainment venue.

"The Chief likes being a second-rate movie theater," noted Betty Davis, who regularly posts wisdom such as "Saw Saw VI at The Chief! The special effects were especially mediocre on the little screen!" Davis believes The Chief will be better off without these "so-called friends" who "were merely looking to get their names in the paper as do-gooders for the community when they were really just out to make money off of The Chief's mildly good name."

The former Friends of the Chief said they were going to give The Chief "some space" before they retaliated on the social media forum, but they did indicate that all responses were being considered.

"We're looking into creating a 'The Chief Sucks' Facebook page," noted Crooked. "But we don't want to rush into any rash decisions. We're Friends on a lot of cool Facebook pages still, like the Twilight one and the Taylor Swift fan page, and we don't want to be 'unfriended' on those as well, so it's a touchy situation right now."