Tourists Seared to Promenade in Brick-Heating Malfunction

Written by Stone Burning Saturday, 24 March 2012

Dozens of frightened tourists had to be airlifted from Steamboat Ski Resort's new promenade area when a major malfunction occurred with the system installed to heat the paving stones and keep them snow and ice free. Instead of heating the stones to approximately 55 degrees Fahrenheit as planned, the stones were baked to 555 degrees, causing several pairs of Atomic, Lange and Burton boots to be seared permanently to the brand new walkway.Dozens of Steamboat skiers and snowboarders received a "warm welcome" from the new heated promenade, which was inadvertently heated to 555 degrees Fahrenheit, searing their boots to the paver stones. The frightened tourists were airlifted from danger, with only a few, mostly snowboarders, reporting third-degree burns to their tootsies.

The stranded and hot-footed tourists were instructed to carefully unbuckle their partially melted boots, while not touching the intensely hot paver stones, as search and rescue helicopters were called in. Ropes were dropped to the stranded skiers and snowboarders, who were then airlifted a few dozen feet to safety.

"It was a perfect rescue," noted the lead helicopter pilot, Mav R. Rick. "We had to prioritize the snowboarders, as their softer boots, although more comfortable, melt much faster when placed over blazing-hot bricks. Some of them were picked up just in the nick of time, before we started frying some little piggies right there by the gondola."

Officials from Intracourse, which owns the ski area, were unsure how the new and highly promoted warmed promenade malfunctioned so spectacularly.

"We believe there was an error in someone's math somewhere," admitted Brick Tamland, Intracourse's chief engineer of Warmed Winter Walkways. "I'm not entirely sure how you add an extra 5 to the temperature. And I'm not sure how we even got that much heat there. I'll have to check the engineering documents to see if someone added in rocket fuel or something like that. But someone, somewhere, seriously screwed up some math."

As the boots were permanently welded to the promenade, it's believed the entire walkway will have to be scrapped and replaced at an estimated cost of $2.3 million. To pay for the miscue, Steamboat Season Pass holders will see their annual rates rise to $19,999 for the 2012-2013 season.

"Costs have to be passed on to someone," added Tamland. "And everyone around here knows who that someone always is. It sure as heck isn't going to be Intracourse."