Secret Downtown Parking Study Will Continue to Seek Funding, Find No Answers

Written by Carson DaStreet Friday, 21 November 2014

The average Steamboat Springs motorist, who does not want to park more than 20 feet from their destination, has been growing ever more frustrated by the difficulty incurred trying to find these prime parking places. Now there is hope for finding a solution, according to Steamboat Springs Director of Transportation, Manny Mustbekidding.

n expensive parking consultant promised to reveal the findings of their study as soon as Steamboat pays them a big pile of money.

At a morning news conference at City Hall, Mustbekidding told reporters and members of the public about an "ongoing, long-term parking study that will prove, once and for all, that we actually appear to be doing something about this problem." A hush fell over the expectant gathering. "For the last 22 years, the reputable Durango-based firm Suburban Explorer has sent 387 of their most- trusted agents into Downtown Steamboat Springs every morning in vehicles ranging from Subarus to SUVs to UPS trucks, to study the availability of parking and the effect of double-parking on traffic."

Mustbekidding quieted the loudly laughing audience, then introduced Meg Myday, spokesperson for Suburban Explorer. "What we have found is that it really, really is very hard to find the good parking places, especially with all the local drivers trying to do the same thing," said Myday. "But we will persevere, as long as there is a problem to study, money in the Steamboat Springs budget and fossil fuels to power our study vehicles."

Myday said her agents have also noted that Steamboat Springs seems to have unusually long lines at its drive-up windows, particularly McDonalds and Starbucks, but that a separate and equally expensive study would be needed to study that problem. Mustbekidding thanked the attendees, adjourned the press conference and offered to drive them to their cars.