Barney Throws Hat in Ring, Becomes GOP Frontrunner

Written by GUEST CONTRIBUTOR Winny Bydefault Tuesday, 22 November 2011

Barney, the lovable purple dinosaur, announced last week that he was joining the race to be the Republican presidential candidate.Barney the Purple Dinosaur was the latest entry into the GOP presidential race. Predictably, he's now the obvious frontrunner, with voters respecting his superior intellect and debate prowess, compared to his competition.

"Oh boy, oh boy, I'm so glad you came to play today," giggled Barney to an assembly of loyal constituents.

As the week went on, and the Barney campaign gained momentum, the polka-dotted dinosaur dominated the most recent Republican debate. Clearly articulating his plan for economic recovery, "1-2-3," Barney explained, "It's as easy as A-B-C."

Although he was widely touted as injecting a high level of intellect and critical thinking into the debate, the real coup de grâce came when Barney brought compassion back to the party, as he led an auditorium-wide sing-a-long of his signature song. The audience, minutes before cheering the deaths of those without healthcare, turned abruptly to singing, "I love you, you love me, we're a happy GOP."

However, to retain the Tea Party constituency, compassion did have to make some concessions. The lead-in quote on the campaign Web site now reads, "I love you, except for gays, liberals and Obama."

Steve Doochey, the co-host of Fox & Friends, summed up the thinking of most Republicans backing the Barney campaign, "Thank God we don't have to choose between a Mormon and a black man anymore."