Women in combat: What do you think?

Written by Guest Contributor Opie Inyun Tuesday, 05 March 2013

Opinion Poll

Recently there has been talk of lifting the ban on women in combat. The Pirate interviewed people on the street, both military and civilian, to see what they think.

Women in combat: What do you think?

Doug and Phillip UpdeGraive, UpdeGraive Funeral Homes

"It could possibly bring in more business for our business, so we're for it, I guess."

Lieutenant Al B. Dammid

"I could see there being a rise in necrophilia amongst our fine young men. We can't tempt them; they must stay focused. I am against it."

Lois Morales, City Council

"I adamantly oppose this motion. I repeat, adamantly oppose this motion! If we send all of our assault weapons abroad, who's gonna be here?"

Capt. Spec. Op. Vious

"We already can't tell if those broads are bros anyway, you know. What's the difference? Don't ask, can't tell. Give 'em a gun, and pat 'em on the ass on the way out the door."

Luke Warm, Mostly I Just Hang Out on the Gondi

"We should totally let chicks in the military. I have this rock-solid battle plan where we send them all out together during their 'time of the month,' and then those vampire-shark-terrorist people will smell them and come, and they'll be like, 'Oh no you din't! You have no idea how bad my PMS is.' And then they'll just get all unreasonable and emotional and probably kill them all. That's a rock-solid plan. Let's do it!"

INTERNET POLL RESULTS

FOR..........................................53% 

• You ladies asked for it; there's not a draft you know. Now pull your 'big-girl panties' on and get out there..........................................15%
• Sick of hearing women bitch. Let's give 'em something to cry about..................................................................................................18%
•  Women can do anything a man can do AND give birth. Try us! .......................................................................................................20%

AGAINST...................................38%

• Women belong in the kitchen............................................................................................................................................................10%
• No way. They are weak and will make us look like pussies..................................................................................................................17%
• The rise in cost of feminine-protection items in the battlefield could be detrimental to both the economy and our environment......11%

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DON'T GIVE A RAT'S ASS............9%

• I don't care because I'm not in the military...........................................................................................................................................4% 
• Other bullshit reasons people don't care...............................................................................................................................................5%