City Council Pizza Order Over Budget: 'We obviously don't understand the current pizza market'

Written by Cash Downdadrain Wednesday, 04 April 2007

In a tense standoff with Creaky Soda pizza deliveryman Pete Zasauce, Steamboat Springs City Council was forced to admit that hadn't allocated sufficient funds for its pizza purchase.

After approving a pizza expenditure of $12.34, City Council was shocked when the actual bill came to more than $23. It's unsure at this time if extra money will be raised for the pizzas.

Facing a late night discussing the merits of allowing the 14th mega-millionaire development to dump its affordable housing at Wild Ponies, the council decided to order two large pepperoni pizzas to satisfy their insatiable cravings.

"We had everyone empty their pockets and chip in," said Clowny Kenner, former president of City Council. "We pulled together $12.34, which sure seemed like a lot of money for two pizzas, so we voted to place the order immediately."

Unfortunately, when Mr. Zasauce arrived with the pizzas approximately 45 minutes later, the tab he presented to the council was for $23.15, not including delivery charges.

"I was shocked," noted current President Doozie Bellringer. "Who knew it would cost that much? The last time I paid for a pizza, which, I admit, was years ago, it was only about 5 bucks. I think that was the deal: 5 bucks, 5 bucks, 5 bucks. Pizza, Pizza or something like that.'

Attending the meeting and chipping in $3.25 was Bendi Daboard, deputy city manager.

"We obviously don't understand the current pizza market,' noted Daboard. "There must be some major issues with pizza designs and costs that we don't realize, and we're going to have to look into that. Do they use real cheese now? And did the dairy farmers go on strike or something?"

Meanwhile, Pete Zasauce patiently waited by the front door, not willing to give up his special pies until the required funds were met, even though he now suspected that his chance for a tip was next to zero.

After failing to "strike a deal" with the deliveryman that would have him leave the pizzas there in return for the $12.34 they had raised and promises to "further his career in Steamboat Springs," the Council began to deliberate on whether they should dip into community funds for the desired pizzas.

"After all," noted Kenner, "We have like $3 million over there in that box. The new school can't use all of it, right?"

"But that's nearly doubling our budget," cautioned Blarin Boast, the Council's newest member. "That's not very responsible spending. Maybe we should send one of the pizzas back? Or just start over with the process altogether and see if we can't find something cheaper?"

Pete Desauce, while still standing in the entryway, noted that the pizzas were getting cold, and that he needed $23.15.

After several more hours of discussion, the council decided to table the matter until the next meeting, at which time the pizzas would either be paid for at full price from cash in the slush fund, or the entire pizza project would be cancelled altogether.