Dumpstergate: Rainbows Stealing Trash throughout Steamboat

Written by Dumb Sir Diver Wednesday, 04 April 2007

Steamboat Springs police are investigating reports that local trash is being raided and stolen by members of the Rainbow Family of Living Light, who are currently in the North Routt Forest for their annual gathering.

This trash receptacle was among hundreds that are suspected of being raided in 'copy-cat' crimes by members of the Rainbow Family. Police have no other leads, suspects or actual evidence.

Police believe the incredible rash of thefts may be the result of "copy-cat" crimes after the incredibly publicized case of two Rainbow members who were arrested for stealing trash from Eat Me Produce.

"We're pretty sure that's what we have here," said the city's new sheriff, Stoned Wall Jackson. "But the scale of the crime is truly amazing. It seems like they've stolen trash from every single person and business in this entire town."

One of the first businesses to file a complaint, Jimmy D. Greek's, was allegedly robbed of its trash some time on Thursday between 2 a.m. and 10 a.m.

"All I know is that when I closed the doors and went home that night, all of our trash was still there," said Greek's owner, Nickeland Diemer. "But when I showed up the next day, it was all gone. Every single scrap of it. Stolen by them Rainbow freaks, just like at Eat Me. Except they're getting bolder now."

Similar occurrences were then reported all over Steamboat in the ensuing days. In some cases, entire neighborhoods were raided overnight.

"I had put all of my trash at the end of my driveway, as I'm known to do on occasion," explained Ty Dyehater, who owns a townhouse on Tamarack Drive. "And sure enough, those good-for-nothing hippies cleaned me out. And it looks like they got most of my neighbors, as well. And I can tell it's them Rainbows, because my trash cans smell just like 'em now. It's awful."

According to Sheriff Stoned Wall Jackson, the Rainbows are operating in roving packs to steal the town's garbage.

"They appear to hit one area all at once," he noted. "And then they move on to an adjacent area. It seems like they've completely stolen the whole town's trash in about a week's time. It's truly remarkable. I'd just love to know how they're doing it. Remarkable ..."

A local trash-removal company, Mace Is High, was contacted to see if they could help explain how the Rainbows could possibly wipe out all of the city's trash in a week.

"They think the Rainbows did that?" chuckled Mace, the owner of Mace Is High. "Oh man, this town is really, really stupid some times. Ummm ... I mean, no comment."