Intracourse to Rename Rainbow Run

Written by Harry Armpits Wednesday, 04 April 2007

Bowing to pressure from local citizens and corporate shareholders who were made mildly uncomfortable by the Rainbow Family of Living Light's brief presence in Routt County, Steamboat Ski Resort's new owner, Intracourse, has announced plans to rename one of its most popular ski runs: Rainbow.

Due to an illogical fear of hippies and those proudly gay, the Rainbow ski run will be renamed.

"It just doesn't feel right any more," stated Stiff Whitey IV, Steamboat spokesperson. "That used to be my favorite run. But now, when I go down it, I feel icky. It's like I'm skiing on dreadlocks, and the snow machines are blowing patchouli on me. And a lot of our most wealthy, and therefore important, guests have said the same thing."

In announcing the name change, Intracourse cited the lead of Steamboat's Rainbow Festival, the annual gathering of multi-colored hot-air balloons that recently changed its name to the Hot Air Balloon Rodeo, possibly to not be confused with hippies or those who are "gay and proud of it."

"It was one thing for the name to sound a little fruity -- a little San Francisco, if you know what I mean," added Whitey IV. "But after those Rainbows utterly devastated our town, what with their peace and love and trash stealing and all of that, we realized that the name Rainbow had to be removed from all of our signs, maps and, hopefully, electronically from our brains."

To come up with a new name for the classic blue-square run, Intracourse is turning to yet another tried-and-true method of renaming things in Steamboat Springs.

"We're going to have a contest! Just like American Idol, without a drunk Paula Abdul," Whitey IV concluded.

The contest to rename Rainbow run is being hosted by the Steamboat Springs Mountain Theater. A ballot printed in the Steamboat Pirate will list all of the finalists for the run's new name.

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Vote Now!

What should be the new name of the ski run formerly known as Rainbow?

- The James Brown Soul Center of the Universe Memorial Run
- Stockbridge Run
- Rainbow*
     *not to be confused with the Rainbow Family of Living Light or proud homosexuality
- I Hate Hippies and Gays (a.k.a. Roscoe's Redneck Run)
- Go Back to Tomahawk, Tourists
- RainBoat Connection