School Board Meets ... Shhhh ...

Written by Will Nottell Wednesday, 04 April 2007

The Steamboat Springs School Board met in super-duper ultra-secret cone of silence session behind closed doors in the back room you need a password to get in last Tuesday night.  At issue was access to a private, anonymous, confidential, what's it to you, cross my heart and hope to die, I won't tell if you won't survey completed by district students and staff regarding the new school lunch menu.  The results of the survey have already been leaked to this newspaper by the New York Times. 

School Board members convene in a super-duper ultra-secret cone-of-silence session behind cloesd doors in the back room you need a password to enter.

Cafeteria administrators and lunch ladies attending the meeting protested that students and staff who answered the survey were assured that the survey would only be read by the hand that feeds them.  "Food preferences are a very personal matter, and Superintendent Scowl swore on a copy of The Joy of Cooking that the results would be as secret as our canned peaches recipe," said 20 year cafeteria veteran Di Gestion.  "But we need to know who isn't eating their peas, and what foods the students like best in food fights," countered board member Jeff Trigger.  "If we don't have this information," he added, "the terrorists win."   

To further complicate matters, Steamboat Pirate and Yesterday editor and all-around rabble rouser Scott Standoff announced that the Pirate would be suing the School Board, the cafeterias, the lunch ladies, the students, the teachers, the staff, the sports team mascots and anyone else who sticks their nose into this business.  "I got a tummy ache after eating lunch at the Middle School two years ago," said Standoff, "and someone's got to pay.  The teacher on lunch duty that day told me I was eating too fast.  I'm going to sue her twice."

In other School Board news, Board president Denise Conningme says she knows why Chelsea's closed, but she's not telling.