Hunter Shoots Guide, Cites Confusion over Wabbit Season/Kywotee Season

Written by Kildee Human Tuesday, 22 November 2011

Elmer Fudd, a first-time hunter from Delaware and copyrighted character from Warner Bros., accidentally shot his hunting guide, Wile E. Coyote, a cartoon coyote hailing from Meeker and also a copyrighted Warner Bros. character. Apparently, Fudd was fumbling with his rifle, not sure if he was supposed to shoot a "wascally wabbit" who was telling him it was "kywotee season," or his newly acquired guide, who alternately insisted that it was "wabbit season."A confused and possibly blind Elmer Fudd from Delaware, with rifle, prepares to blast his hunting guide, Wile E. Coyote, from Meeker, after a third party, whom Fudd described as a "wascally wabbit," conned the hunter into believing it was "kywotee season."

"I've never bween hunting befwore," admitted Fudd. "And there was so much commotion with those two cwazy cwarachters welling at each other. I think the wabbit twicked the kywotee and got him to well 'kywotee season!' And ... well ... I shot my gwuide. I'm sworry."

Routt County Underwear Sheriff Gray Perch was unsure if the Sheriff's Office would file charges of careless hunting against Mr. Fudd, although it was clear that not all safety measures were taken by the hunting party.

"At first, we were quite alarmed at how a hunter could mistake his guide for a coyote," added Perch. "You know, there's usually a huge difference between a 170-pound man walking upright and a 30-pound dog-like creature walking on all fours. So we were ready to arrest Mr. Fudd for negligence or drunkenness or something. But when we found out the guide was an actual coyote, and a walking, talking cartoon one to boot, that really complicated our investigation."

Perch did note that Mr. Coyote was not wearing hunter orange, which is not required by guides but strongly encouraged.

"I'm a coyote, for heaven's sake," countered Mr. Coyote. "I don't wear clothes. Besides, I find that hunter orange absolutely clashes with my fur tone. I simply won't be considered an unfashionable dresser. I'd rather be shot ... which I was. Hunter buffoon."

As part of the investigation, the Sheriff's department examined the hunting test Fudd passed just a few days before the accident.

"It's clear that he passed the test," concluded Perch. "In the section labeled 'Things You Can Shoot,' he only marked the bears, tigers, elk and hairless foxes. He didn't check any of the boxes next to the babies, grandmothers or school buildings, so he was legally approved for hunting."