Steamboat's Special Anniversary Planner Furiously Seeking New Anniversaries to Justify Her Position

Written by Eve Enttsplanner Monday, 18 March 2013

After successfully promoting and marketing the Steamboat Ski Resort's 50th anniversary and the 100th anniversaries of Steamboat's Winter Carnival and Perry Mansfield Performing Arts School and Camp, aptly name Annie Versary, the woman hired in 2011 as a Special Anniversary Planner, has been working diligently to come up with additional major anniversaries to be celebrated in Routt County.In hopes of retaining her job, Annie Versary, Steamboat's recently hired Special Anniversary Planner, presented several potential major anniversaries to be celebrated in Routt County.

"It occurred to me some time during the Winter Carnival Parade that Steamboat may have run out of major anniversaries to celebrate," noted Versary. "And as that's my only job, it also occurred to me that I better get my shit together or I'm going to be out on the street before the end of ski season. I don't think they'll keep a special planner for the mountain's 51st anniversary. And 101 only works if you collect Dalmations."

Ms. Versary presented her list of upcoming major anniversaries to her joint employers, the City of Steamboat Springs and Intracourse, which owns the ski mountain. She highlighted the following events taking place in the next several years:

2014: The 200th Anniversary of Ute-tanasia, a Native American celebration of peaceful living on the wide open spaces that belong to no man (or woman) and which will never be taken away.

2015: The 50th Anniversary of the first reported chairlift blow job on Steamboat.

2016: The 100th Birthday of Billy Kidd (speculated).

2017: The 100th Anniversary of the first time someone said, "Alright, who farted?" when passing the Sulphur Hot Spring.

2018: 150th Anniversary of some redneck getting lost and rescued on Buff Pass.

2019: The 50th Anniversary of a Steamboat tourist buying a "Western hat" that made them look silly.

2020: The 50th Anniversary of things that took place in 1970!

2021: I'm not even trying anymore because if I get this far without being fired I'll be ecstatic.