People Mover Catapult Project On Target

Written by R. U. Krazy Sunday, 04 April 2010

The Wildhorse Gondola, which opened in February and transports  skiers, riders, tourists and other undesirables from the Wildhorse Meadows development to the base area, has been an unprecedented success.  People will naturally do anything to avoid riding a shuttle and encountering surly people in the morning and clouds of noxious b.o. at the end of a sweaty day on the mountain.  So it is no surprise that the Ski Town Grand Hotel and Resort will try to cash in on someone else's success by constructing, right at the main entrance, the world's  first "people mover" catapult.

The Ski Town Fling now graces the hillside above the Knoll Lot near the Grand.

Construction foreman Maxwell House is extremely excited and upbeat about the project.  He says that guests at the Grand who can't wait to hit the slopes will not be disappointed.  Corporate giant Target Stores has come on board as a sponsor and will paint its logo on the snow at the landing site at Headwall.  Anyone who hits the bullseye will be given a voucher for 10% off at Splatsmed Physical Therapy.

The project has not been without snags, literally.  The Grand originally envisioned a giant slingshot, but prototype testing proved that snowboards, skis, and enormous rubber bands just don't mix.  Also, base area hotel the Sheraton declared its property a "no fly zone" and the flight path and landing area had to be adjusted accordingly.

When asked about the return trip, Grand spokesperson Layla Flopsalot said that inquiries have been made about using the American Ski Syndicate's Bungee Trampoline to launch skiers, riders, tourists and other undesirables back to the hotel.  Ms. Flopsalot did not mention any specific landing site at the hotel, but hinted that one possibility was right into a bar stool at Chapped, one of the hotel eateries, or the outdoor pool out back.  She also said that the "people mover" catapult would give new meaning to the phrase "spring skiing."