Affordable Housing Study: Who's Kidding Who?

Written by Bill Ditbigger Friday, 04 April 2008

A broad group of some of Steamboat Springs' most influential developers, businesspersons, municipal staff, elected officials, Gilligan, the Skipper and Mary Anne has assembled to take yet another look at affordable housing, and one has to ask, "Why?"  We don't know.  But it makes an impressive opening to an article that you know is going to have many words and little substance.

Gonna Scowl, Executive Hig Priestess of the Ski Town Housing Authority says, "it's hard to duplicate nothingness," in reference to the Housing Authority.

"We're trying to look at the problem from a much broader perspective than it has been looked at previously. This whole question of affordability has come to the forefront.  It had to finally get to a point where it was affecting enough people that it became a community issue," said Buck Glomberg, founder and chairman of the group that has come to be known as the "affordable housing sinkhole."  "What's funny is that I actually believe that there is some kind of meaning in that statement," snickered Mr. Glomberg. 

Gonna Scowl, executive high priestess of the Ski Town Housing Authority, has attended meetings of the affordable housing sinkhole.  She said the group is not duplicating the work of the Housing Authority because neither group is really doing anything.  "It's hard to duplicate nothingness," scowled Scowl, "so we're not going to lose any sleep over it.  The sinkhole has functioned very much as a networking organization, to use a really overworked phrase.  I think that means they go to a lot of cocktail parties."

City Councilpresidentperson Anton Luinucci breathlessly announced at last week's City Council meeting that the city council had just consulted with Consultancy Consultants, a consulting firm, about an affordable housing study.  "As far as housing studies go, this is the most affordable one we've ever wasted money on."  Councilpresidentperson-in-waiting Scari Helmetheadski agreed, but still cuffed Luinucci on the back of the head.  "Antonucci," Helmetheadski snarled, "Why I oughta...!"

Steamboat 700 Club principle and Project Manager Manny Camelately was more philosophical.  "We're just going to sit back, play nice and cash in no matter what happens," said Camelately.

Steamboat Pirate and Yesterday Editor Bent Boner weighed in with his take on the affordable housing hoopla.  "Well, as journalists, we try to remain objective about the issue, although it is hard not to laugh.  Basically, whenever an advertiser cancels an ad at the last minute, we just fill the empty space with another article about affordable housing.  There may be an affordable housing shortage, but there's no shortage of talk about it."  Ain't that the truth!