Steamboat Claims All 5,500 Olympians, Including Kevin Bacon

Written by Kenny Count Monday, 05 April 2010

In a bold move sure to spark international debate, the city of Steamboat Springs has laid claim to all 5,500 athletes competing in the 2010 Winter Games in Vancouver.

"It's been nice in the past to claim 20 or 30 athletes, even though at least half of them have tenuous ties at best," noted Steamboat's Olympic organizer and promoter, Cookie Books. "But we found a new way to claim many more athletes. All of them, in fact."

Steamboat's Olympic organizers claimed all the 2010 Winter Games athletes as from Steamboat Springs, including a bewildered and confused Kevin Bacon.

The new program is called "Seven Degrees to a Steamboat Olympian," and it's often performed during bouts of heavy drinking.

"It's pretty simple," added Books. "You start by choosing any Winter Olympics athlete. Then you have seven moves to connect that athlete to Steamboat. Here, let's try one.

"Take Maria Riesch, the skier from Germany," continued Books while doing a Jager bomb. "We all know she's good friends with Lindsy Vonn. Vonn trains in Vail. Tons of people from Steamboat have skied Vail. Boom! Steamboat Olympian in three moves. Now that was an easy one, of course. Some of the Koreans and those warm countries that send one person can take all seven moves."

In a surprising revelation, it appears that actor Kevin Bacon was named a Steamboat Olympian, even though there's no record of him competing in or attending the games.

"It was weird, but there's no way around it. Kevin Bacon is connected with everything," Books concluded.

When reached for this story, Bacon noted that Steamboat needed to "get a life" and that no one cool has played the Kevin Bacon game for more than a decade. The reporter then connected himself to Kevin Bacon in only one move, having just talked to him.