The Pirate Passes One-Year Milestone, Big-Ass Kidney Stone

In a breathtakingly important event viewed by 0.0000000000001 percent of the Internet, The Pirate Web site at celebrated its one-year anniversary in mid-May 2012. The site, spawned by the uberly successful group known as Pirate Theatre, based out of Steamboat Springs, Colo., surprised all of the family members of its contributors by continuing to exist after one year.The Pirate Web site surprised a wide variety of continuously disappointed mothers and pessimistic spouses by still existing after an entire trip around the sun.The Pirate Web site surprised a wide variety of continuously disappointed mothers and pessimistic spouses by still existing after an entire trip around the sun.

"I didn't think it would last more than a month," said Betty Againstit, a pessimistic yet realistic mother of one of The Pirate's contributors. "I always thought it was cute that they did shows in Steamboat, and the funny paper they put out was pretty good, but a thingy on the Word While Web? No, I didn't think they had it in them. Most of them aren't that bright..."

Working with a budget the size of most four-year-old's piggy bank, The Pirate Web site has managed to be viewed by more than 3,000 visitors from more than 50 countries. Its collection of satire stories spoofing local and world politics, sports, entertainment and more have been viewed by a wide variety of actual people in addition to search engine bots and third-world hackers.

"We're pretty big in the Ukraine," noted The Pirate's Web master, Al Bino. "That means a bunch of Eastern Euros are trying to hack into a financial account that doesn't exist. But still ...."

Bino also found out, to his surprise, that more than 35,000 pages have been viewed on the site. "Sounds like a lot," he added, "but that's like a day at The Onion."

The Pirate staff still are encouraging its readers to visit its Facebook page and "like it," even if that is the most annoying bit of vocabulary to be added in more than a century. "We're waiting for a 'say it kicks ass' button, but until then, we have to stick with 'like it,'" said Bino.

As of press time, no outsiders have taken The Pirate's challenge to create a sub-Web site to make fun of where they live. Although there were some nibbles, according to Mr. Bino, no one has yet taken the plunge to do to their hometown, for free, what The Pirate crew has been doing to poor little Steamboat Springs for more than a decade. Should anyone want to start their own Local Pirate, for free, they should email

"We have received a lot of great outside contributions in the last year," noted Bino. "So that was cool. But we're always looking for more. So if you think you're funny, send us an article. If it's good, we'll put it on the Interwebs. Then you can show your friends that at least one person out there, besides yourself, thinks you're hilarious."

Writers at The Pirate expect the next year to be just as fun, but they're going to try some new things, like marketing and promotion and other "lame-ass business things." The staff was pleased to actually have quite a few local advertisers, which is nice, but the next plunge will be beyond the borders of the sleepy mountain town most call home.

"We're going to see if Facebook will advertise on our site," noted Bino. "They could really use some more exposure."

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