American Girl Now Selling Real Girls to Match their Dolls

Written by Barbie Woodcry Tuesday, 17 April 2012

Building off the astonishingly successful selling of matching outfits for American Girl dolls and the young girls who own them, the seller of equally astonishingly high-priced dolls has announced a new product: girls who match successful doll models.

"It's just a natural eFor only $200,000, tasteful and refined would-be parents can adopt a real girl to match their American Girl dolls. The children come with matching outfits, pre-programmed manors, an adorable accent of parents' choice and a permanent desire to have whatever they want at all times, regardless of cost or need.xtension of our product line," says Marie Grace, senior marketing executive for the new Real Girl line of real girls. "Parents who can afford our dolls absolutely adored seeing their children in matching outfits with their playthings. It was unfair to exclude that kind of parent-imposed joy from those who don't have real children of their own. So if you're an upper-middle-class control freak, and want a child to match one of our dolls, we can supply that product to you."

The initial product launch is expected to include best-selling dolls such as McKenna in her tennis outfit, Ruthie in the always-adorable pink-and-black plaid outfit (with matching tea set), Julie in the popular non-edgy skateboarding outfit and Emily in a purple-flower sun dress. The dolls in this line typically start at about $200, with as much as $100 extra for the accessories. The matching children sell for $200,000.

"That may seem like a lot of money, but if you can afford our dolls, it's a small price to pay for a fully authenticated and licensed American Girl girl," added Grace. "In addition to the matching clothes and accessories, each American Girl was selectively chosen to match a specific doll's hair and eye color as well as some of the implied personality in the dolls. Each girl is sent to our American Girl Finishing School, where they learn manners, proper posture and how to accept doing whatever their mother wants them to do. They even perfect the girls' Midwestern or Southern accents. When ready, you won't notice any Eastern European left in their speech patterns."

Although the selling of children normally is frowned upon in American culture, both government agencies and public sentiment seem to approve of American Girl's new product line.

"It's not like any of the girls are being forced into prostitution or being sold to bad homes," noted Starlet O'Hara, who recently purchased a specially made Southern McKenna doll and her matching child, McKenna II. "My husband and I can't have children, and we inherited a large plantation in Georgia. We've been looking into a standard adoption, but we didn't think an Asian would fit in at any of our cocktail parties or poolside barbecues. But these American Girls are just perfect for us. Our little McKenna II matches her doll perfectly! It's like having two dolls in the house! They really make us look wealthy and self-important, and isn't that what children are for?"

And with prices for standard adoptions soaring to about $20,000, adding an extra zero to an American Girl girl is merely the standard upcharge for all of their products.

"It's a simple, but effective, pricing guideline here at American Girl," notes Grace. "If a set of doll earrings normally costs $1, we charge $10. If a doll normally costs $20, we charge $200. So it's natural that we'd charge $200,000 for a child that can normally be picked up in a lesser manner for $20,000. We call it American Girlanomics."