ABC Introduces New Spinoff: Synchronized Diving with the Stars

Written by Hugh Mongus Splash Friday, 04 November 2011

To capitalize on the continued success of Dancing with the Stars, ABC unveiled the newest member of the franchise, Synchronized Diving with the Stars. The new show pairs celebrities with an Olympic synchronized diver, who has one week to teach the sort-of-famous person that week's diving routine.The inaugural season of Synchronized Diving with the Stars will feature reality TV darling Kirstie Alley, who attempts to land a triple-twisting pike with her Chinese diving partner, Shi Ska Ri.

"If there's one thing we know at ABC," said Aaron B. Cartwright, an executive programmer for ABC, "is that America loves watching shows that show D-list celebrities doing things they're too lazy to do themselves. And if you throw in some flamboyant and obnoxious judges, you've got yourself a goldmine. And that's just what we have with Synchronized Diving with the Stars!"

Cartwright noted that the first season will include such vaguely familiar faces as Keenen Ivory Wayans, the fat guy from Lost, Kirstie Alley and a yet-to-be-named football player who will win. The ensemble cast of ridiculous-sounding judges will include the Chocolate Rain YouTube-sensation guy, someone gay and Smurfette, the first animated judge in reality-television history.

"It's guaranteed to be a smash hit," added Cartwright. "Just wait until you see these stars doing backflips from the 30-meter board. You'll be so glad you never leave your couch! And Smurfette judging! Come on! How Smurferiffic is that?"