Jordan Guarantees He'll Finish with More Rings than LeBron: 'I'll Get Married as Many Times as I Have To'

Written by Phil Crackson Monday, 15 April 2013

Legendary basketball player and failed basketball executive and owner Michael Jordan, upon hearing of LeBron James' recent engagement to long-time girlfriend Savannah Brinson, insinuated that James was merely trying to upstage him after he had announced his own engagement to Cuban model Yvette Prieto.Michael Jordan was photographed showing off his latest "unbeatable" ring collection of six NBA championship rings, two wedding rings and something on a chain he won in a poker game from "some short Baggins dude with big furry feet."

"I see what he's up to," noted Jordan between $50,000 hands of blackjack at the Wynn Casino in Las Vegas. "He finally gets an NBA championship, and he's coming after me. He sees that I'm getting married, upping my ring total to eight, and he's trying to get his up to two to stay competitive. But it ain't happening. I'll get married as many times as it takes. He'll never have more rings than me, no matter what he does."

Asked to clarify his ring total, as Jordan currently owns six NBA championship rings and isn't likely to earn another in this lifetime, Jordan noted that wedding rings count, as they're at least as expensive as winning an NBA title or purchasing an entire NBA team.

"It's not the ring that's expensive, of course," admitted Jordan. "But the wife upkeep and divorce settlement ... NBA titles are way easier. LeBron will learn that, too."

Jordan believes LeBron is likely on his way to a second NBA championship this year, and with him soon getting married, may up his ring total to three under the "Jordan Ring Scoring System," but that will leave him far behind the former Chicago Bulls' guard's total.

"And if LeBron thinks I'll stop at eight, and he can get more rings than me, than he doesn't know anything about Michael Jordan," he added. "I'll do whatever it takes to remind everyone that I'm the greatest there ever was, at everything. And I'm not even going to mention future-wife hotness. Just check out the pictures on TMZ. Jordan wins, again."