Entertainment
Reality TV Linked to Increased Stupidity
Written by Paris Hilton Friday, 15 December 2006
Researchers at the Center for the Remarkably Obvious believe they have confirmed a long-standing scientific hypothesis that watching reality television for any extended period of time leads to increased levels of stupidity. According to a research team led by renowned scientist, Professor Tim Withstupid, the evidence is overwhelming and leads no doubt to their conclusion.
"Frankly, we were shocked by the findings," noted Professor Withstupid. "We expected to see some correlation, but what we found was an astounding decrease in brain activity among those who watch more than just a few minutes of reality television. In fact, anyone who watches more than an hour in one given sitting can be officially deemed mentally retarded."
To prove their theory, the research team administered common aptitude tests before, during and after their test subjects watched reality television shows such as Survivor, Road Rules and My Fair Brady, among others. In one case, test scores plummeted 97 percent after watching a full-length episode of Survivor IX: Craig Auto Dump.
In addition, a new reality show created by Steamboat's own Pirate Productions, A Piece of...
Add a commentMel Gibson Officially Named Craziest Actor Alive; Heston, Cruise Rage at Snub
Written by John Tesh Friday, 15 December 2006
At a ceremony inside Hollywood's Kodak Theater, Mel Gibson was named 2006's Craziest Actor Alive. Gibson was a frontrunner, along with Tom Cruise, for the award prior to his recent anti-Semitic rant following a drunken driving arrest, but the latest incident "put him over the top--way, way over the top," noted one analyst, to take this year's top prize.
Mel Gibson, a perennial runner up, ran away with this year's award for Craziest Actor Alive. Police are still looking for him.
"I just want to thank the Academy, if any of you are actually real people and not my imagination, who voted for me," said Gibson in his acceptance speech. "This is a great honor for me. It really validates all of the hard work over the years, and the late nights staring at the sky waiting for the aliens to take me away to a beautiful planet where the tequila flows like water and there aren't any Jews around to poison the atmosphere."
Gibson also took time to thank Marlon Brando for dying, which disqualified him from the award that he had a stranglehold on for years. In fact, Brando's body was found with one of his Craziest Actor Alive statuettes in a stranglehold.
The festive award ceremony was briefly interrupted, however, when Charlton Heston ran onto the stage with a loaded automatic shotgun. At gunpoint, he demanded that Gibson give...
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