Politics/Government

Bush Sending Surge to Rainbow Gathering

Written by Wendy Willhistermbeover Wednesday, 04 April 2007

In response to increased tensions and provocations between U.S. National Forest Service Rangers and Rainbow Gathering members, President George W. Bush has announced a new "surge" policy that will temporarily increase the numbers of Forest Service men and women in North Routt County.

President George W. Bush will send in additional Forest Service Rangers to crush the Rainbow Gathering insurgency.

"My fellow citizens, I know this is an unpopular conflict," said Bush. "But we have to stand firm in our resolve or ... or ... or them hippies are gonna win. And I'm not a loser. You hear me? I am NOT a loser. I win wars. I win elections. I'm a WINNER. My brother's the loser, not me, daddy!!! Quit calling me a loser!!!!!"

After a brief moment of awkward silence, Bush continued. "Whew. Guess I 'lost it' a little, huh? Anyway, the people of Routt County can be assured that I'm going to do everything I can to win this battle against these insurgents. You see, it's a...

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