Steamboat Springs
School Board Buys Out School Board
Written by Anita Windfall Friday, 04 April 2008
Last year, the Ski Town School Board ended a long-running feud with then superintendent Gonna Scowl by buying out of the remainder of Scowl's contract and sending her laughing all the way to the bank. "It doesn't look so good on my resume, but it looks great on my checkbook balance," tittered Scowl. Apparently inspired by their own actions and enraged by Scowl when she flipped them the bird as she skipped out the door, the School Board has voted unanimously to have the Ski Town School Board buy themselves out of the remainder of their terms.
School Board members convene in a super-duper ultra-secret cone-of-silence session behind closed doors in the back room you need a password to get in.
"Why should she have all the fun? We're stuck here dealing with yet another superintendent, while Scowl got to move on to her goody-goody job at the Ski Town Housing Authority," snarled grizzled School Board veteran Vincent DeJohnis. "Three of us got voted in with that corny 'Learn Your ABCs' campaign. Now, ABC stands for 'A Buncha Cash,' " chortled new and soon to be former School Board member Pieca...
Add a commentSteamboat Sheriff Suggests Department 'Go Green'
Written by Hoppa Long Friday, 04 April 2008
New Slogan: "Ride a Horse, Save a Sheriff"
In an effort to create a "green" Steamboat, Routt County Sheriff Stoned Wall Jackson has proposed that the police force consider alternative, fuel-efficient modes of transportation to conduct routine police duties. Wall hopes that by "going green," less-harmful air pollutants and greenhouse gas emissions would be produced in our beautiful Yampa Valley.
"I think it would be terrific if we examined all the eco-friendly possibilities, such as police cars fueled by biodiesel or even alternatives that may be considered outside the box" stated Wall. He continues, "Because I like to lead by example, I currently have been partaking in some field testing of my own by carpooling, riding the bus, and even hitchhiking while on duty."
Sheriff Stoned Wall Jackson on his trusty steed, Fool's Gold.
According to Wall, Steamboat can learn from our neighbors up north. "For...
Add a commentRead more: Steamboat Sheriff Suggests Department 'Go Green'
City Council Sues Obama for Plagiarism
Written by Cat Copy Friday, 04 April 2008
Steamboat Springs City Council announced at its last meeting that it plans to sue Senator Barack Obama for plagiarism and copyright infringement. They claim that his campaign slogan, "Change We Can Believe In" was stolen from the council's longstanding official slogan, "Change Because We Can."
"It's not right for him to get away with that," said Councilperson Steve Icantsee. "When we heard he was getting in trouble for copying other people's stuff, we decided right away that we'd get on that bandwagon and see where it takes us. It's kind of how we operate around here."
Steamboat Springs City Council found "uncanny similarities" between the slogan of Barack Obama (left) and their own official decree (right).
When it was noted that the only two words that are the same are "change" and "can," Councilperson Quinnagin Beginnagin defended their lawsuit, noting that those are the two most important words.
"Plus it's really in the spirit of his...
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