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1 Michael Douglas Overcomes Cancer, Splits from Unstable Wife, Now Focusing on Chrystal Meth Empire Walt Whitman
2 Mars Rover Loses 'America's Got Talent' Final to Dog Rover Whose Bark Sorta Sounds Like 'Who Let the Dogs Out?' Mary Canculture
3 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Leaving Cleveland, 'Taking Its Talented Musicians to South Beach' Wes Paul
4 Nickelback Launches Twitter Attacks on Negative Criticism, No Longer Has Time to Make Music Fluff Rock
5 LGBT Numbers Increasing, Study Cites Pandora as Leading Cause K.D. Bang
6 Cruise Liners Long for Glory Days as Lame, Non-Experience for Old People Carnie Val
7 ABC Introduces New Spinoff: Synchronized Diving with the Stars Hugh Mongus Splash
8 Struggling Oprah Unveils New Urban-Wizard Line of Books and Movies Rip Hoff de Brit
9 Modern Medical Miracle Monday: Help For The Unhip Dick Swett
10 Father of Anna Nicole Smith's Baby Determined Carmen "Baby" Lightmyfire
11 Reality TV Linked to Increased Stupidity Paris Hilton
12 Mel Gibson Officially Named Craziest Actor Alive; Heston, Cruise Rage at Snub John Tesh

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