Steamboat Springs
Intracourse: 'Ticket-Price Increase Pleased Snow God, Will Continue Policy'
Written by Gow Jing Friday, 24 February 2012
Intracourse, the owners of Steamboat Ski Resort, cited its
recent lift-ticket price increase as the reason behind the
record-breaking powder days that came just days after the price
hike. According to officials, the snow god Ullr had long felt
Steamboat wasn't charging enough for its daily lift tickets, which
went up from $99 to $105.
According to Steamboat Ski Resort owner Intracourse, this picture of Ullr the Snow God was taken of him in Pioneer Ridge during the epic snow day of Feb. 20, 2012. The company believes he was plowing through some "powder cashes" that were the result of his approval of the recent lift-ticket price hikes.
"It's obvious that Ullr was pleased with the rate hike," noted Floryn Fasten, Intracourse spokesperson. "It's too much of a coincidence that just two days after the announcement, Steamboat was hit with 27 inches of perfect powder in 24 hours. Ullr rewarded us for our aggressive profiteering. Everyone knows what a fan of capitalism he's always been."
In accordance with Ullr's wishes, says Fasten, Intracourse will continue it's pricing increases indefinitely as long as it continues to snow in the Yampa Valley.
"We're looking to create a cost-to-snow pricing scheme, but we're going to raise the costs first, and then assume the snow will follow, which is exactly what happened, so we know it will continue...
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Chief Theater 'Unfriends' Group Trying to Renovate It
Written by Mark Suckerberg Monday, 30 January 2012
In a subtle move that raised eyebrows all across Facebook, the
aging Chief Theater "unfriended" the group that has been trying to
raise money to purchase it and renovate it for what has seemed like
14 years. The group, formerly known as Friends of The Chief, is
unsure whether to proceed forward as the Unfriends of The Chief, or
whether to seek a new name that's less ironic.
The Chief's Facebook page has a few less Friends on it now, as the aging theater unfriended the core group formerly known as Friends of The Chief, which was hoping to renovate the seemingly slighted movie theater into a multipurpose entertainment venue slated to open in downtown Steamboat Springs in the year 2038.
"Frankly, we were all shocked at the unfriending on Facebook," noted Jim Crooked, head of the now confusingly named group. "We had been 'liking' all of The Chiefs obnoxious posts for years, even the overly cutesy YouTube videos and the 'spiritually uplifting' crap, and then it goes and unfriends us. I can't even send it personal messages any more. It's devastating."
The Chief refused to comment publicly on its social-media attack, only stating in a cryptic Wall post that "The Friends of the Chief are no friends of mine." Pirate reporters attempted to 'Friend' the outdated theater, but the requests have gone...
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Hayden Rallies to Prevent Bar from Closing, Neighboring Business Providing Temp Employment Services Quietly Closes Forever
Written by Miss Placed Priorities Friday, 20 January 2012
The town of Hayden celebrated as the community simply wouldn't
let the historic ExpressWay Bar shutter its doors after planning to
do so. Dozens of
community members helped raise $10,000 to pay off its tax bill
as well as pitch in time to renovate and restore the local watering
hole to its past glory.
Suspiciously well-dressed Hayden residents waited in long lines to drink at the ExpressWay Bar, which was saved from bankruptcy by supportive citizens. The temporary employment business next door ... not so much.
"It's just amazing what an outpouring we've received from the community of Hayden," noted the former and now current owner, Drinka Pourem. "I guess having the ExpressWay Bar open and serving booze and greasy food to customers really struck a chord to all those in town with nothing better to do. And that's most of us, it appears!"
Although happy for the reversed fortunes of the bar that was closing, neighboring business owner Emma Ployment was bittersweet as she hammered wood boards across the windows of her now shuttered business, Emma's Temporary Employment Services.
"Yeah, I guess I just don't get it," opined Ployment. "I was here for eight months, trying to help those who were without...
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