Steamboat Springs
City Council Pizza Order Over Budget: 'We obviously don't understand the current pizza market'
Written by Cash Downdadrain Wednesday, 04 April 2007
In a tense standoff with Creaky Soda pizza deliveryman Pete Zasauce, Steamboat Springs City Council was forced to admit that hadn't allocated sufficient funds for its pizza purchase.
After approving a pizza expenditure of $12.34, City Council was shocked when the actual bill came to more than $23. It's unsure at this time if extra money will be raised for the pizzas.
Facing a late night discussing the merits of allowing the 14th mega-millionaire development to dump its affordable housing at Wild Ponies, the council decided to order two large pepperoni pizzas to satisfy their insatiable cravings.
"We had everyone empty their pockets and chip in," said Clowny Kenner, former president of City Council. "We pulled together $12.34, which sure seemed like a lot of money for two pizzas, so we voted to place the order immediately."
Unfortunately, when Mr. Zasauce arrived with...
Add a commentChutes and Ladders Winner Joins City Council
Written by Milton Bradley Wednesday, 04 April 2007
Unsure how to replace outgoing Steamboat Springs City Council Member Movin Kominsky, who left the council to move into a bigger house, the remaining council members held a fierce competition of skill and cunning to determine its next member.
New City Councilperson Blarin Boast used her considerable mental skills to navigate the treacherous terrain and avoid any major slides.
"When we found out that we got to pick the new member, we were pretty confused," said Doozie Bellringer, council president. "We're used to those election thingys deciding who wins, but we had to come up with an alternative."
It was Councilperson Anton Luinucci who suggested that they hold a chess tournament to find Kominsky's replacement.
"It seems like all those chess masters are really smart," noted Luinucci. "And that's what we lack here more than anything: a smart...
Add a commentThree Ring Construction Circus Begins
Written by Britt Shickhouse Wednesday, 04 April 2007
Steamboat Springs is about to undergo the kind of construction season known in the industry as a nuclear cluster#*@&. City Council, showing the long-range vision that it is so famous for, has approved 47 major developments, all slated to break ground this spring. To say that this might affect daily life in Steamboat Springs is like saying that the great earthquake might have affected daily life in San Francisco in 1906. Here are some of the thoughts, half-truths and comedic nightmares that council is offering to mitigate the situation.
One obvious issue that will have to be addressed is where to house the hundreds of construction workers. Councilman Clowny Kenner has suggested covering Howelsen Hill with snowcaves. "In addition to providing housing, it will also save us the expense of carting away and storing the man-made snow at the end of ski season," said Kenner. Councilman Anton Luinucci proposed a tent city on "a very reasonably priced piece of property out in Maybell. We could call it Steamboat 3." Grand Old Town Hot Springs Director Patty Carn offered to help by tearing down the tennis courts and installing a mobile home community to be called "Trailer Heaven," featuring double- and triple-decker quadruple-wide mobile homes. "We don't care any more about the tennis players than we did about the previous tenants we booted out. ...
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