Written by Marty Graw Monday, 05 April 2010
New Orleans Saints' officials pleaded with its fan base to "not be like this guy," who had moments before tattooed the Saints logo on his balls.
After defeating the Indianapolis Colts 31-17 in Super Bowl XLIV, the New Orleans Saints and their energized fan base took to the streets of their beleaguered city for some well-deserved celebrations.
But after the team's victory parade, when they showed off their new trophy to their adoring fans, team ownership and management had some cautious words for their fans.
"Please, please don't become so obnoxious with our success that the rest of the country learns to hate us," warned team owner Tom Benson. "You may not remember this, but it wasn't that long ago that the country was really happy for the out-of-nowhere Tom Brady and the New England Patriots. We were all relieved when the Red Sox ended the Curse of the Bambino and...Add a comment
Written by Ewe Betcha Monday, 05 April 2010
Former vice presidential candidate and former governor of Alaska Sarah Palin announced in a press conference today, in between book signings and paid speeches and television show pitches, that she has resigned from her position with Fox News, so she can "better serve the needs of Fox News."
"I'm doing today what's in the best interest of Fox News, and that's to resign from my position with them, so that I can work for them in other areas where I'm not bogged down by working for them," said Palin, who made sure to not look at her hand nor any perceived teleprompter at any time.
"When I pursued and accepted my job with Fox News, I always promised I would work diligently for them," she continued while winking and still making sure to not look at her hand. "So now the best way I can do that is to not work for them."
When confronted by confused...Add a comment
Written by Phil Landering Sunday, 04 April 2010
Tiger Woods may be a great driver on the golf course, but his bad driving on the road forced the superstar to confess his less than faithful ways, wrecking his marriage and prompting many of his sponsors to drop him like a toxic asset. You won't see Tiger driving a Buick or shaving with a Gillette Fusion razor on T.V. anymore. And Tiger has given Nike's "Just Do It" slogan a whole new meaning. Tiger "Just Did It." A lot. But, you can't keep a good man down, apparently, and now Tiger has several lucrative new endorsement deals either in the works or already in his golf bag of tricks, so to speak.
Legendary condom manufacturer Trojan has signed Tiger to a seven year, fifty million condom endorsement contract. Trojan director of marketing Willie Raincoat says that Tiger is a "perfect fit for our product. We are going to feature a new line of sized condoms, the one, two, and three Woods. Tiger's face will appear on all of our products and packaging, and we will tee off our campaign with full page ads in Hustler and Playboy magazines."
Also trying to cash in on Woods admission as a sex addict are several pharmaceutical companies planning to market patches to curb the sex drive. There will be sex patches for men and women, and they...Add a comment
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