Toyota Can't Get Trunk to Close, Offering Bungee Chords
Written by Bill Ditcrappy Sunday, 04 April 2010
As a public-service announcement for its customers, Toyota engineers admitted that they can't seem to get their new-model Camry's trunks to close, no matter what they try.
"We're very disappointed with ourselves right now," admitted Daisuke Itdontworka, Toyota's lead engineer. "We've tried slamming it shut, wiggling the latch, pressing the trunk button several times ... nothing works."
Because they couldn't get the trunk to latch, Toyota introduced its new "adjustable-trunk model," complete with free bungee chords.
To resolve the matter, Itdontworka said Toyota will provide two bungee chords with the sale of each Camry as well as an instruction manual on how to secure the trunk with the chords.
"We've worked very hard to fix this trunk problem, without actually fixing it," he explained. "Rigged properly, there shouldn't be more than a two-inch gap in the trunk, and there should be only minimal banging noises."
Toyota also is planning to market their new "adjustable trunks" as a desirable feature.
"Other cars come with a fixed-sized trunk," noted Itdontworka. "But Toyota trunks, with the innovative bungee technology, can be adjusted for larger than capacity loads. That's real innovation. That's Toyota engineering."
Add a commentBush to Obama: "Told You the Job Sucks"
Written by Mark Mywords Sunday, 04 April 2010
In an exclusive interview with Carrie Water of Fox News, former President George W. Bush revealed the details of a brief conversation he had recently with President Barack Obama.
"Basically, I just said 'told you so. The job sucks, don't it?'" said the 42nd U.S. President.
Former President George W. Bush candidly revealed the contents of his famous note to Obama, warning the new president that his new job blows.
Bush then revealed what he wrote in his famous note addressed to "43," which he left on the desk of the Oval Office for Obama.
"I just laid it all out there," he explained. "I said 'I hate to tell you this, but this job you just won sucks. It may seem cool right now, 'cus you just got the keys to the nukular weapons and now you know where the UFOs are, but you're gonna hate this job, and it's gonna happen faster than you'd ever imagine.'"
Bush said the he wanted to say something to both John McCain and Obama before the election, but was...
Add a commentO*prah Sues O*bama fo*r Trademark Infringement
Written by Duke Caucus Tuesday, 11 November 2008
O*prah
Winfrey, the TV talk-sho*w ho*st turned multimedia billio*naire,
filed a lawsuit in a Chicago* district co*urt alleging that
presidential candidate Barack O*bama has vio*lated her exclusive
trademark o*f the letter "O*."
Television mo*gul O*prah Winfrey to*o*k o*ffense to* anyone using the letter O* without her permissio*n, even the candidate she stro*ngly suppo*rts fo*r the national electio*n.
In a written statement, Winfrey acknowledges that she had mixed feeling abo*ut the lawsuit.
"Barack is my guy, and I'm suppo*rting him co*mpletely in his bid fo*r the White House. I can't stress that eno*ugh. Ho*wever, I felt that it was just as impo*rtant to* pro*tect my business and the vario*us elements o*f my empire. And the mo*st impo*rtant element is the letter 'O*.'
"I was ho*ping to* no*t have to* seek legal action, but when I saw his o*wn 'O*' lo*go*, I knew I had to* act, just as I have with every previous case o*f trademark infringement,"
Add a commentMore Articles...
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- Unknown Hockey Mom Chosen to Run Concession Stand
- Modern Medical Miracle Monday: Help For The Unhip
- McCain Flatly Denies Rumor that He's Irish
- Clinton 'Ready for Ski Season on Day One'
- Bush Vows to Not be Lame Fu&k President
- Bush Sending Surge to Rainbow Gathering
- Father of Anna Nicole Smith's Baby Determined
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