Pirate Theatre Stepping Up Its Game: Latest Show Heading to Outdoor Stage and then ... Boulder?

Written by Ally Grownsup Monday, 13 August 2012

After living in its mother's basement in Steamboat Springs for more than a decade, Pirate Theatre is finally "leaving the nest" and taking its show on the road. The troupe's latest multimedia musical comedy, "Powder Haze: A Day in the Life at a Ski Town," will be performing at the Boulder International Fringe Festival from Aug. 23-25, 2012, in the legendary People's Republic of Boulder, Colo.Pirate Theatre's new show hits Steamboat on Aug. 18, 2012, before rolling down into Boulder.Pirate Theatre's new show hits Steamboat on Aug. 18, 2012, before rolling down into Boulder.

However, the group needed to take some baby steps before leaving its beloved home, so it scheduled a one-time performance in Steamboat Springs on Saturday, August 18, at 8 p.m. But in order to get their coddled and insecure prima donna performers out of their comfort zones, the show will be held, for the first time ever, at the outdoor stage in Gondola Square (buy tix here or at All That Jazz in Steamboat).

"It's about damn time those kids got out of my basement and tried to do something with their lives," said Gaia Pirate, the mother whose basement was a comfortable haven to Pirate Theatre for so many years. "Most of them are grown men and women, yet the idea of doing something outside of Steamboat had them pissing in their knickers."

Brian Harvey, head of Pirate Theatre and lead knicker pisser...

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Lodgepole Pines Crossbred with Kandy Kush Found Resistant to Pine Beetles

Written by Stoned Goddard Monday, 30 July 2012

U.S. Forest Service biologists, who have been working diligently to produce a genetically modified tree resistant to pine beetles, appear to have made an astonishing discovery that could lead to complete reforestation by 2025.Scientists believe they can repopulate millions of acres of forest land with pine-beetle resistant pine trees created by grafting Kandy Kush buds onto young saplings. As a side benefit, the new strain of trees could have a street value into the trillions of dollars.Scientists believe they can repopulate millions of acres of forest land with pine-beetle resistant pine trees created by grafting Kandy Kush buds onto young saplings. As a side benefit, the new strain of trees could have a street value into the trillions of dollars.

The scientists were able to graft Kandy Kush buds, known for their pest resistance and pleasant high without any paranoia, to young lodgepole pine saplings, creating a new tree that's both resistant to pine beetles and "eminently smokeable."

"This is a huge breakthrough," said Forester Jan Twitchy. "As you've seen from our decimated forests, normal lodgepoles were defenseless against the pine beetle. But this "superstrain" of Kandy Kush lodgepoles appears to leave any beetle that attacks it in a lifeless state of catatonia, unable to do anything of consequence. And we were further delighted when one of our interns tried smoking its needles and got really baked."

So in addition to repopulating dying national forests, the U.S. Forest Service is hoping the Kandy Kush lodgepoles will revive the nation's tree-harvesting economy.

"Just think...

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By Standard 5-4 Margin, Supreme Court Decides to Order Bar-B-Q, Watch American Dad!

Written by Lala Icanthearyou Sunday, 22 July 2012

After a long day of reading government briefs on health care and campaign donations, the U.S. Supreme Court decided to unwind in its chambers, order some takeout and watch a little TV. However, some members of the constantly losing side became unhinged when the court voted 5-4 to again order Bar-B-Q and watch reruns of American Dad!Members of the Supreme Court (mostly not pictured) once again voted 5-4 to order "American food": barbecued pork ribs and baked beans. Dissenting suggestions of pizza and Chinese food were summarily rejected by the court's conservative branch as being "too ethnic."Members of the Supreme Court (mostly not pictured) once again voted 5-4 to order "American food": barbecued pork ribs and baked beans. Dissenting suggestions of pizza and Chinese food were summarily rejected by the court's conservative branch as being "too ethnic."

"I'm not sure how much more of this I can take," noted perennial loser Sonia Sotomayor. "Those of us appointed by Democrat presidents just wanted to, for once, get control of the TV and watch Family Guy, but the usual gang of Republican mouthpieces ruled that the Family Guy creators are too liberal and the show promotes too many San Francisco values, whatever that means. Of course, I tried to tell them that Seth MacFarlane created and writes for both shows, but they just laughed and said that was ridiculous. I even opened up the Wikipedia pages to show them, but none of those conservatives will ever touch a computer, except for Roberts, who just shrugs his shoulders and says, 'what can I do?'"

The contentious air increased when...

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Local Satire???

Let's face it: Where you live is pretty ridiculous. Your local politicians are buffoons. Your local celebrities take themselves way too seriously. The general population, including yourself, is either completely crazy or almost there.

This is equally true whether you live in Hollywood, Miami or Sheboygan. It's just a matter of scale. But what can you do about it?

Satire. If you can't beat 'em, make fun of 'em, and you just might beat 'em that way ...

In its many forms, satire has proven to be a great equalizer. Jon Stewart is one of the most influential people in America. If not for Tina Fey, Sarah Palin might be Vice President of the United States. When people realize that something is ridiculous, it loses its power.

This is where The Pirate comes in. There are many great outlets that satirize the "big issues" (and we do that, too). But we've also perfected the art of Local Satire. As you can see from our successful model in Steamboat Springs, Colorado, no town is too small to be skewered.

You don't know those people or what their issues are, but the people in Steamboat do, and they think it's hilarious. And you can do the same in your area, whether a city, town, school, company or whatever. That's Local Satire, and you'll be surprised at how effective it can be.

Then you can sell your own local advertising and make a little money on the side.

So if you want to start your own Local Pirate Web page and newsletter, click HERE and start your voyage.

It's FREE, and templates are set up so all you have to do is write funny articles (but if you need help creating witty graphics, we can do that, too, for a small fee).

Each of your Local subscribers will also receive a FREE Global Pirate newsletter along with your own. We take care of the newsletters, too, and you can send it as often (or not) as you'd like.

And if you'd just like to contribute an article or two for our "global" page, just send in what you think is funny. If we like it, we'll publish it under your name and location. Unlike other satire publications, we want to hear from you.

So, are you a Pirate?

Enter Amount:

Subscribe to The Pirate RSS Feed

Click the image below and get tickets for The End of the Boat as We Know It

Subscribe to The Pirate

You can have new content from The Pirate e-mailed to you as a newsletter as soon as it's available. No need to waste time browsing the Internet!

The Pirate will find you!

If you only want the "main" Pirate, select Global Pirate below.



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